Do I win the most nonsensical food subsititute?

[Frequency]

I ordered a few bits from Iceland. I've been living on toast and sandwiches due to work/study/general laziness when it comes to cooking, so I thought I'd order some quick, easy meals.

I ordered a few bags of frozen veg, some Bisto, and some sliced, ready to cook frozen chicken breasts, so obviously, an entire meal.

Having run out of sliced chicken, Iceland sent... Choc Ices. Not turkey, not a different cut of chicken, not even a couple of packets of chicken nuggets or some sausages, but 2 boxes of choc ices I order from Iceland regularly and have never ever bought choc ices or any description of ice-cream. I have ordered turkey breast and low-fat sausages. I have ordered battered chicken and fresh chicken.

I'm very much looking forward to my dinner of veg, gravy and choc ice

Luckily, DD, who answered the door to Iceland, likes choc ices. She assumed I ordered them for her because Iceland never mentioned substitutions.

How do the pickers come up with these substitutions? Are they meant as a joke, or do they genuinely believe ice cream and chocolate are a good substitute for chicken breast?

It's the system not the pickers. Ring the store and they'll sort it out for you

Sorry, but 😂😂

I've mentioned this before but 20+ years ago I ordered a tub of pistachio nuts from Tesco and got a packet of rich tea fingers instead. I think substitutes are often suggested by the computer so my surmise would be that an intermediate step here was ginger nuts.

Is it the system? I thought it was the pickers. One of the kids worked at Asda over Christmas, and they said the system suggests a list of subs, but the pickers have the final say and can ignore the suggestions and select something not on the list.

DD will eat the choc ices, and Iceland has refunded the price difference. I'm more confused than annoyed.

I wonder if it's alphabetical chicken - choc ice....

It's next alphabetically somehow? Like ch...icken. then ch..ocices?

I’ve heard about plasters instead of tampons

Yeah, that usually does the same job!

How many choc ices is a full dinner? Got to be 3 or 4?

This might be one of the silliest I’ve heard yes!! Mm want a choc ice now tho…

It wasn’t quite as random as yours but I once ordered gluten free bread and was sent regular bread as a substitution.

I'd want more than the price difference. I'd want the choc ices for free and a full refund of the chicken breasts.

On the plus side, I once ordered a 3kg bad of dry dog food and they sent a 15kg bag as a substitute, and refunded the price difference. But choc ices and gravy, nah.

When I worked order picking at Tesco, the computer gave a suggestion but the picker could override it. Problem is, the pickers are under pressure to pick x number of items an hour so don't always think about what's being suggested and just go with it.
My favourite one was when the computer suggested a set of Happy Birthday candles as the sub for a baking ingredient (think baking powder or similar, can't quite remember). I figured the shopper would rather get nothing than that so cancelled the item, but other pickers may well have just chucked it in anyway.

Lemon washing up liquid instead of Mr Kipling lemon slices.

I ordered lemon scented toilet bleach ……… got subbed a bag of fresh lemons 😂

I use lemon washing-up liquid. I don't like ice cream, and I'm not overly fussed about chocolate, but if I really fancied a cake and got washing-up liquid, I'd be sad.

I suppose, if they looked at all the items on my list, they might have assumed I was on a diet and thought I'd appreciate an excuse to cheat.

DD's gym is next door to Tesco. She's offered to grab me some chicken later, so dinner is saved. There is no need for me to eat gravy covered icecream and broccoli

Funny you should say that.

I was away just before Xmas so did a food order and declined substitutes as I said I’d likely get toilet roll instead of turkey because they both started with T 🤣

An old friend of mine got condoms as a substitute for a pregnancy test.

The universe is telling you to eat choc ices 🙏

I once ordered a birthday card and got a knitting magazine with a pattern to knit your own royal corgis.

Glorious!

Glorious!

My sister (60s) ordered napkins for a dinner party. They sent her disposable nappies.

No idea how that (a) posted twice and (b) ended up with that GIF. Could have been worse, of course!