When you say you hate doing something or it makes you anxious what do you actually mean? What does that anxiety feel like?

[BoxedOff]

I am just trying to understand whether my feelings of stress and anxiety over certain acts, like for example public speaking or being watched by big crowds, is what other people feel when they speak of anxiety.

When I'm anxious over something, something that I know I can do, but still very nervous about, I do a kind of countdown for it.
"In 24 hours, this will be over"
"In 10 hours, this will be over"
etc.

Public speaking is one of my phobias. The very thought makes me literally break out in a sweat, my heart races and I feel panicky, my first thought is 'how can I avoid doing this?' Very, very unpleasant, keeps me awake at night worrying. Then having an argument with myself that maybe I could do it, trying to get my fear under control. Might work for a few hours then it comes back again and I'm convinced I can't. Also I know I'll go blank mentally!

BTW it's been many years since I was in that situation and thankfully not likely to happen now!

I have severe anxiety. I will be sick. I will have tinnitus and feel disorientated. Breathing will be off. Head will pound and blood will rush in ears. I’ll be sweating and flushing to the point my glasses steam up. My hands will shake. And I will have to grab something to keep me upright

I’m currently having periods of stress/anxiety due to a family situation and it feels like shaking in my upper chest. I just try to distract myself until it passes.

If you feel sort of a lot of overwhelming emotions but want to do it/ can’t stop yourself doing it - it’s not anxiety.
If you feel emotional and rather wouldn’t do it at any cost, would hide somewhere or cry- it’s anxiety.

I think the difficulty in explaining is that it’s a huge continuum. I’ve suffered with anxiety to the extent that I really struggle for weeks or months to eat, wake up earlier and earlier until I’m barely sleeping, can’t focus on anything at all anymore. But - when not long term suffering like that - I might quietly say “I’m feeling anxious” to my partner in a social setting, to articulate a much lower level of (hopefully short term) anxiety. Both are valid but they’re different things.

I am always anxious, have a nervous disposition and highly strung. The day to day is sweaty palms, racy heart and feeling of impending doom, will talk too much in panic spiral. Its all triggered by social things, people, going out. If im locked in a room, i don't get it, but i can't live in a room.

Over specific things, like public speaking, or an event..i would cry every night for a week before, zero sleep night before, catastrophising, thought loops of how it would all go wrong. Wanting to avoid, thinking exuses, how that would go wrong, then i end up spiralling over events that happened like 5 years ago. (Its like anxiety vomit trigger) then cue paranoia (but not paranoia exactly as i am very aware its anxiety induced) of how because of xyz..they think xyz..then that will go wrong at the 'event' so xyz will think xyz, which will trigger xyz to happen which then will trigger xyz.

I get a lot of hempeligic migraines which i blame all the anxiety for triggering. 😂

Worst was panic attacks, was getting them every day, where my body would violently shake, lose vision, felt like i was dying, couldnt breathe. But that seemed to be for a year after birth so guessing postnatal things ramping up my usual anxiety.

I kinda assume everyone gets anxiety to a degree and thats why we all get ratty or misinterpret eachother.

I get a very intense feeling of fear and dread, the muscles in my shoulders and neck get too tight, and my heart starts thudding in my chest. I will ask not to be involved in things that make me uncomfortable (e.g. performing in front of others; I hate being under scrutiny!). If that doesn't work, I get panic attacks. I turn very red, feel sick, get too hot, hyperventilate, struggle to breathe, cry, and I run away to anywhere that doesn't involve people, who stare, ask why I'm all red, and unhelpfully tell me to breathe (I am doing, it's just too quickly, and if I wasn't, I'd be dead!). If the anxiety is really bad, then my hands and thighs start visibly shaking. This is sometimes followed by debilitating vomiting migraines, which can leave me bedridden for 2-3 days. This is obviously not ideal in any circumstance!

If it is over a long period, I struggle to manage basic things, like eating (I don't feel hungry), speaking, sleeping, personal hygiene, cleaning the house, my solidified shoulders have a stabbing pain running through my shoulder blades, and I get very paranoid.

You feel like you're on the brink of having a full blown panic attack.
Extreme sense of impending doom, horrible twisted hollow feeling in stomach.
You can feel faint, shake all over, feel frozen to the spot, very hot and sweat buckets, then start shivering.
You may vomit or start coughing or struggling to breathe. Your heart beats really fast and all over your body is pulsing.
You often burst into tears. Or even shout things out in distress. Or just start sobbing.
You may feel the urge to run away from the situation even if it's unsafe to do so. But you feel you must escape the situation immediately.
You can feel as if you're going to die. Pure fear and terror and catastrophising.

Obviously everyone is different though so that's just me.

A friend of mine suffers from anxiety, and one example she gave me was feeling really anxious before a simple everyday car journey; the car breaking down, being stranded somewhere dangerous, having an accident, being injured, dying or her children dying.

I thought it was quite an eye opener, as to me it’s a very simple everyday task, but I know there are many different levels and varying degrees of anxiety.

I used to suffer major anxiety about public speaking, although I did naturally grow out of this in my early 20s, as a teenager & young adult it was horrendous. If I had to do any kind of class presentation at school or at uni I’d start sweating profusely, my face would go bright red, my heart would be racing, I’d feel sick, my hands would be visibly shaking and when I tried to talk my voice would shake and I’d run out of breath really quickly when talking. I actually dropped out of my college course because I found out I’d have to do a 20 minute presentation

The problem with this level of stress is how it affects the immune system and may lead to serious ill health.

Sorry to start this thread and disappear. I was trying to distract myself. Thanks for sharing your experiences. It’s nice to read some similar to mine.

i have a speech to do at a friend’s wedding tomorrow and at a big big work event on Monday. I am so scared already, I fantasise constantly about saying I have the flu tomorrow and it covering Monday. Then I persuade myself I do actually have to go tomorrow and my brain goes into overdrive thinking of escape once I am there: say I feel sick, fake an emergency call from family etc.

My stomach is already clenching in fear. I won’t sleep tonight. Tomorrow every nerve will feel like it’s on fire and screaming at me to escape. My heart will pound, my head will feel light, I will have an upset stomach and that will go in waves all morning until I force myself up at the church feeling like I am going to die, like my heart will explode, like my legs will give way in front of everyone. I have no idea whether I will get through it. Sometimes I manage, I suppose most times I manage, sometimes I’m told I’m a great speaker, when I say I hate it people say they would never guess and I’m a natural. But none of that feel it’s worth it for this torture.

I have a lot of experience with both anxiety the emotion and anxiety the disorder, as I've always been a nervous person and suffered an anxiety disorder since my childhood. Here I'm describing disordered anxiety rather than just feeling nervous, as I think that's what you're asking.

So, I experience anxiety more physically than emotionally. For me, an anxiety attack is a combination of symptoms where I feel too hot, my heart races, I feel nauseous, a sense of inescapable doom, and sometimes lightheaded as well. After a while, I'll get muscle cramps from holding my torso too tense. If I don't feel the emotion of anxiety already, I get anxious about the symptoms and it creates a vicious circle. It can creep up on me, but when it hits the only real things I can do are take my as-needed medication- propranolol, to slow my heart rate- or remove myself from the situation and have someone talk me through it until I feel calmer.

Over the years I've found other things that can help. I'm emetophobic and the nausea can trigger anxiety around that, so I have ginger sweets to take which can stop that vicious cycle where I'm anxious about my anxiety symptoms. I also have done therapy consistently for six years, which has helped a lot with grounding techniques and recognising the feeling before it gets too overwhelming. Really though, the only things which have genuinely prevented my anxiety are SSRIs, which I came off temporarily and regretted once the anxiety returned, and hormonal contraception which has completely cut the ups and downs of my cycle. I still get nervous, especially when meeting new people and particular events, but not so much I feel physically ill at the thought of it and I don't get anxious for no reason the way I used to. I can usually handle it by giving myself a pep-talk, or get through it with moral support where available.

(When I did come off those meds, my anxiety steadily increased over the months until I found myself regularly standing outside my housemate's room to hear her breathing and make sure she hadn't died in her sleep. For reference, she's perfectly healthy.)

It sounds like, from your description, that your anxiety around public speaking is a disordered feeling rather than a regular nervousness. Even though it's not every day, it's clearly something you find really difficult to the extent of making you feel ill. Something causing you this much distress and affecting your ability to live and work is worth talking about and finding possible solutions for.

Most importantly, regardless of anyone else's descriptions here and what we do or don't feel, you don't have to suffer the torture that you experience. I wish you the best, OP, for Monday and for the future in general ❤