I’m so lonely

[Booksandsea]

Hi!
im so lonely; i have a 14 month old baby and pretty much no help. Her dad “lives” with us .. but doesn’t really help. He leaves 530am for gym; goes to work, home 6pm and expects cup of tea and homemade cake and will sit on floor with baby. He baths her and then goes back to gym and gets home around 8 - 930 and wants dinner then. He sleeps on sofa as baby doesn’t sleep through and he gets annoyed. I’m so bloody lonely; how do I find friends? We go to baby groups etc but I’m so tired and sad I guess that is apparent!

Hi op, firstly your other half needs to step up and not got to the gym twice a day. Secondly are you back at work if LO is 14 months? If youre not are you looking to? Work is definitely my main social event!

Gym twice a day? Nuh uh taking the piss sorry

Gym twice a day is taking the piss. Plus expecting you to be bloody baking cakes.

Definitely get back to work, for the company and (as there's no indication you're married) your own financial security and independence. Then expect him to stock up on Mr Kipling and pull his weight.

WTF He's going to the gym twice day when he has a little baby? He is taking the full piss, I am fuming on your behalf.

Yes, to going back to work if you can, it will give you time around adults and doing something with purpose that isn't involving feeding a baby or wiping their bum. It is very easy as a mum to give your all to the baby, but you must look after yourself too 💐

Drag yourself to the toddler groups, they are for the mum's benefit, not just the babys. You need social contact.

Do you have any family and friends nearby?

What positives does this pathetic excuse of a partner bring to your life?

You'd have a lot less work to do if he wasn't around. Tell him to go and live elsewhere.

You need an honest conversation with your partner to discuss what time YOU need for YOU. If he wants to go to the gym then fine . . . maybe 3 times a week but then it's your turn to go out and do gym/ book club / choir/ evening class etc. Could you also suggest some time together with the baby e.g. visit to seaside for long walk and pub lunch etc?

I’ve been back at work but work have been difficult about my need to have set shifts.

he says he goes gym but I can’t see any results;

i asked him if we can have a day out this weekend. Last time he hugged me our baby got so scared.

Why was a 14month old scared your partner hugged you?

Loneliness is not your biggest problem OP. Not by a long way.

Unbelievable (from him). Men's selfishness will never chase to amaze me.

So sorry OP. your reaction is of course reasonable

He needs to step up and contribute- gym can happen twice a week and you should get that too

Good luck - you got this, make him step up, and it will get better!

If there is a singing mamas group near you, check them out they are amazing

this man is a joke. Is this really true?? Gym twice a day??

Yep he goes twice a day- apparently.
I get no time. I shower maybe 3 times a week if I’m lucky.

im so lonely it actually hurts.

Kick the partner out and go back to work.