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The bloody cat

73 replies

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 04:48

Life is pretty exhausting at the moment, and what little sleep I have time for - I really need.

We have an indoor/outdoor cat. He spends most nights in but sometimes stays out. I’m fond of him but he has form for being demanding/annoying.

This cat, in the last week or two, has taken to waking me between 3-5am yowling at my door. I then have to get up and put him out, then need the loo, then I am awake and take around an hour to get back to sleep. But I have to be up in just over an hour now ☹️

Would I be unreasonable to just insist he stays out at night? I have no capacity for this.

We live on a farm and there are plenty of pile-of-hay type places he could sleep, although he never seems to. I’ve no idea where he does go at night.

He’s now crying to come in but from outside it’s not loud enough to keep me up.

OP posts:
Overtheatlantic · 30/01/2026 04:53

This is part of having a cat. 3-5 am is an active time for them, and he will want care and feeding whether he’s inside or outside. Can you install a cat flap? Please don’t lock him out in the winter. Try to work with him on a solution.

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 04:57

No I can’t install a cat flap without carving up very old doors. Plus we are tenants and it’s not allowed.
I can’t believe that being on duty 24/7 and attending to the cat at 4am every day is a normal part of cat ownership??

OP posts:
hollytheheroic · 30/01/2026 05:13

You can't leave him out all night, it's cruel. That's why cat flaps were invented. Your house doesn't sound suitable for a cat. I realise none of this is helpful but yes, I think if you don't have a cat flap you need to get up to let him out.

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TimeForATerf · 30/01/2026 05:27

Do you leave a litter tray down? I can hear mine a scratting in it during the night sometimes, but if I didn’t leave one down they would wake me to go out 100%.

gotsomuchadmintoday · 30/01/2026 05:37

Leave him in the kitchen with the door closed. That’s what we have to do so he doesn’t wake the kids up in the middle of the night meowing.

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 05:38

He won’t use a litter tray.

I am still awake and now having panic attacks about the day ahead. It’s incredibly busy with work and a hundred other things, and I have the kids friends here for tea and I’m worried I’m going to just be a tearful wreck by then.

I am going to leave him out tonight, I can’t take this.

OP posts:
LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 05:39

gotsomuchadmintoday · 30/01/2026 05:37

Leave him in the kitchen with the door closed. That’s what we have to do so he doesn’t wake the kids up in the middle of the night meowing.

The dog is in the kitchen so I can’t sadly.

OP posts:
Eggybreadwithnuts · 30/01/2026 05:41

Mine had a spate of doing thos and we have a catflap!!! You need to break the habit. Jist chuck him out at night or keep outside ALL day so hes knackered at night and sleeps through

Trallers · 30/01/2026 05:45

Could you put a kennel type thing with an electric heat pad somewhere so you can leave him out? Seems bonkers that a farm cat can't spend the night outside to me though, i bet he'd find a cosy spot when he coulsnt get in.You'll be ok tomorrow, it always feels worse at night when you should be sleeping. Somehow the day comes together.

Elektra1 · 30/01/2026 05:48

I’ve got a cat I keep in at night (she uses a litter tray) and every single night she wakes me up between 3-5am just because she wants some stroking. If it’s 3am I can go back to sleep but if it’s 5am I can’t. I can’t shut her out of my bedroom as then she scratches up the carpet on the landing. Yes I’m tired but this is just part of having a cat.

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 06:11

Trallers · 30/01/2026 05:45

Could you put a kennel type thing with an electric heat pad somewhere so you can leave him out? Seems bonkers that a farm cat can't spend the night outside to me though, i bet he'd find a cosy spot when he coulsnt get in.You'll be ok tomorrow, it always feels worse at night when you should be sleeping. Somehow the day comes together.

Thank you.

He’s never entertained any kind of cat bed though.

And there is no solution involving me getting up 3-4am every morning to tend to the cat’s wishes which is going to work for me here.

OP posts:
DaughterOfPearl · 30/01/2026 06:17

How old is the cat? My 14 year old is starting to show signs of dementia. This involves yowling morning, noon and night for no reason.
We had to move his food from the high cupboard (where he used to love eating) to a lower table because he was forgetting to eat when he couldn't see it then yowling because he was hungry 😕

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 06:19

Only 4 or 5

OP posts:
Sunnysidegold · 30/01/2026 06:19

I found that my old cat just yowled at the front or back door when he wanted in if he had been out at night.

Cats are outdoor animals. I'm sure there's plenty of spots he could find to sleep in outside. Ours has a domed bed in the garage for nights when he is outside. Although we still found our old cat sleeping under a bush despite the bed provision.

I know what you mean about the waking up thing and it ruining your day. I'd plan nice things to make it easier. Buy a nice coffee on your way to work and plan takeaway for tea with the kids and their friends. Early night tonight!

Shoecamp · 30/01/2026 07:17

Op I lived on a farm for years and had several farm cats which were only allowed in the house in the daytime. I assume they slept in the hay barn at night. They were fine. This is not uncommon.

Wallywobbles · 30/01/2026 07:19

Ours live outside. It’s a farm. They can work it out.

RunningOnEmptyLegs · 30/01/2026 07:24

Overtheatlantic · 30/01/2026 04:53

This is part of having a cat. 3-5 am is an active time for them, and he will want care and feeding whether he’s inside or outside. Can you install a cat flap? Please don’t lock him out in the winter. Try to work with him on a solution.

Don’t be daft! I don’t attend to my cat between 3 and 5am 😂

Ours are locked in the kitchen and left there - my sleep is more important 🙄

caringcarer · 30/01/2026 07:33

I don't see why the cat could not be out in kitchen as it yowels and put dog in sitting room as it's quiet. It's cruel to shut cats or dogs out in this very cold weather. They are forecasting snow again soon.

Contrarymary30 · 30/01/2026 07:37

Overtheatlantic · 30/01/2026 04:53

This is part of having a cat. 3-5 am is an active time for them, and he will want care and feeding whether he’s inside or outside. Can you install a cat flap? Please don’t lock him out in the winter. Try to work with him on a solution.

All true . I love the "can you work with him " bit .

Contrarymary30 · 30/01/2026 07:41

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 05:39

The dog is in the kitchen so I can’t sadly.

Leave the dog out then . Why is the dog locked in the kitchen anyway . It is cruel to lock any animal out in winter .

saltrock123 · 30/01/2026 07:42

Try feeding him as late as possible then he might settle, make sure he has access to water too. Mine tend to sleep till 6 or 7 if fed around 10.

Pepperedpickles · 30/01/2026 08:12

If you leave a cat litter tray out he may eventually use it. It’s recommended that all cats, even the outdoorsy ones, have access to a litter tray inside so they have somewhere safe they can use if they feel cold / scared of something outside etc etc. It’s part of owning a cat and even if you think it won’t be used it may be something they get used to.

Can you let the dog have the rest of the house and the cat have the kitchen area?

Nofksleft2give · 30/01/2026 08:17

gotsomuchadmintoday · 30/01/2026 05:37

Leave him in the kitchen with the door closed. That’s what we have to do so he doesn’t wake the kids up in the middle of the night meowing.

This. Our cat would wake us too if she had the run of the house.

Pabbel · 30/01/2026 08:18

Sounds like you really arent a cat lover!

LittleLapwing · 30/01/2026 08:32

Contrarymary30 · 30/01/2026 07:41

Leave the dog out then . Why is the dog locked in the kitchen anyway . It is cruel to lock any animal out in winter .

U wot m8? 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

OP posts:
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