How do I get over interview nerves/embarrassment at not getting the job?

[MickHerron]

I had an interview this morning for a nurse specialist role. I vaguely know one of the interviewers (we attend the same course 1 day a month but only found out her name today). The job was perfect for me, no weekends or bank holidays and I’m desperate to get out of my current team which has become dangerously understaffed and a toxic environment.

I prepped really hard for the job but went to pieces in the interview and couldn’t answer ANY of the clinical questions which the second I left the room all the answers came to me. They said they’d contact the successful candidate today and I haven’t heard anything so definitely unsuccessful. But I am absolutely mortified about how I went to bits and how my nerves got the better of me. I also gave one stupidly insane answer to a question which I could feel then staring at me as I was rambling and went redder and redder.

There was 3 interviewers and they must think I am unfit for practice, not being able to answer basic clinical questions. I take propanalol which helps with the physical symptoms.

Anyway, it isn’t totally the end of the world. It was a big drop in pay as it was only part time ( I would have banked the extra days but this isn’t guaranteed) and it’s also a lot further from home which isn’t ideal, plus my job now is quite flexible and this is more rigid as it is clinics so set days. So trying to look on the bright side and will apply for other jobs. I only told a couple of people I’d applied but now have to face them (they won’t care they’re lovely) and also see this bloody man on my course for the next 11 months.

Anyone have any words of wisdom. Feels disappointed with myself as I did so much prep but as soon as I stepped off the lift I could feel the anxiety

‘also see this bloody man on my course for the next 11 months’

that was supposed to say woman not man🙈

Oh dear, interviews can be awful!

If you see this person regularly I’d just broach it with her directly, say “I got so nervous, I didn’t present myself at my best”.

Next time, get friends to do lots of practice interviews with you before hand - it really helps.

Ps everyone everyone has a “terrible interview” story. Mine is infamous among my friends because it was so awful 😆

Whats meant for you wont pass you by. Something else will come up.
Also, tip for interviews (I have done several in the NHS and never not got the job). Take paper and a pen and write the question down. Take 30 seconds to a minute to write a few bullet points words to help you structure your answer. I always explain I am going to do this at the start and noone has ever had a problem with it. Good luck in any future interviews you have.

As an actress (a good one!) I have failed auditions through anxiety, so you have my sincere sympathy.
My anxiousness boiled down lack of self esteem through childhood trauma. I could ‘fake it until you make it’ up to a point as myself, but it could all come tumbling down.

I’m not saying it’s the same with you, but building up self confidence in whatever way suits you, would help.
Confronted with your colleague, laugh it off if you can and keep smiling.

I think when they ring to say I haven’t got the job I’ll just say I don’t do well with interviews and let my nerves get the better of me and my mind went blank but thank you for your consideration? I’ve literally never spoken to this woman at the course so would feel even more awkward approaching her to discuss the interview 🙈

Thats a really good idea with the pen and paper, I am going to do that next time. In my last interview for the job I do now, I took in an a4 sheet with some bullet pointed key words to kind of jog my memory and spur me on but that was for a promotion in my current team so I had an idea what kind of questions they might ask where this is basically the same job I do now but in a different setting/speciality

As a total aside and what I forgot to mention in my OP, as I was getting in my car I bumped into an old colleague who works in the same building but for a different service, I told her what I was there for and she said the manager for the team was not a nice man and is very demanding on the team and that I would hate working there. So maybe I’ve dodged a bullet 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP I spent a solid 10-15 mins telling a financial services recruiter why I had left financial services industry many years ago and exactly how much I hated it compared to the industry I moved into and stayed for many years.

I didn't even realise till I was literally lying in bed and went "Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

(I mean, it is true so probably for the best in my case!)

Propranolol from your GP. Its the drug docs take when they have to speak in public.

It wasn’t meant to be because something better is just round the corner.

You could always have a chat to him and mention how nervous you were and gave some stupid answers. If you’ve not had an interview for a while it can happen. I’m usually thinking what the fuck did I just say 😒 sometimes the brain does not engage and absolute shite comes out. I think the more interviews y do u get better at it so this one has probably helped u for future ones.

Thanks everyone you’ve made me feel a lot better. I’ve been out with my friends tonight for a meal who are also nurses and had a bit of a debrief and I think overall the job wasn’t right for me either. I just feel embarrassed now but will discuss it when they call tomorrow and draw a line under it and keep looking and working on my confidence!

Last year I had an interview at the school my children attend. I wasn't mega confident but afterwards thought well you never know. Anyway, they phoned to tell me I was unsuccessful about 20 minutes before I had to do the school run. It was mortifying especially as I had to go back twice as one child in a club so they finished later. I learned to put on a brave face but struggled to look the deputy head in the eye after that. I always felt she was staring at me, but she probably wasn't. Time passes and a year later it's water well under the bridge. I'm doing teacher training now.

Think of it as a learning experience, and keep looking for the right role for you.

Thanks everyone for your kinds words, I didn’t get the job (not surprised!) but they gave some good feedback.

Bad luck - perhaps you did dodge a bullet . I would make a effort to lance the boil with the woman on the course next time you see you.

I would just say that you are embarrassed to have been so anxious and not given your best at the interview. She will probably just commiserate kindly and you will move on.

I keep hearing this on here but I literally took 1x 10 mg propanolol in a stressful situation the other day and I was seeing fragments of images in front of my eyes. I don’t think it’s safe to do so. and doctors do all kinds of dodgy things themselves so I wouldn’t use that as a recommendation

That’s not how the majority of people react to propranolol, surely you understand that?