Please share your stories about child maintenance/CMS - the good bad and ugly.

[SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough]

I'm trying to work out whether it is worth applying for child maintenance - do the benefits outweigh the risks?
I have a 2 year old and haven't received a penny from the biological father (not on birth certificate). My fears of that he will try to seek parental responsibility to avoid paying CMS have prevented me from applying (as it stands, he has never met DD).

I'm trying to understand the realities of how CMS works (not what is legally required - I understand this). Did it get messy for you? Do you regret claiming CMS? How did it impact your child growing up? I'm being open minded, keen to hear other people's experiences.

Thank you :)

As much as you should get that money and it is disgraceful that you do not I would say tread carefully. Having 50/50 for example means no CMS so many losers push for this and leave care to their next girlfriend/mother. The minute he gets in touch for contact though I would advise applying.

Thank you. This is what I am worried about.

Hopeful bump as I'd really like to hear people's experiences. I don't know whether I'm being overly cautious/how easy it is for a father to get custody etc

You're welcome and bumping for you. Generally custody will start small and build up but if there are no major concerns with Dad it could be with a view to move to 50/50 in the future.

I went through CMS about 4 years ago. Initially it was direct pay, where he’d pay directly to me, however he got a new partner and then moved away. Once that happened, I didn’t receive a penny for months. It then went collect and pay, which took ages to sort and was under a deduction of earnings through his employer, this lasted 6 months as CMS have a system where if they are compliant for 6 months, the paying parent can ask to change to standing order where they pay CMS and CMS pass the payment over - this didn’t happen and he stopped paying again for months. I then got another deduction of earnings in place which is almost at 6 months - no doubt he’ll apply for another standing order for being compliant 🙄. Unfortunately it has been messy, with the lack of payment towards his child which has been an ongoing battle for two years and I only receive payment if it’s through deduction of earnings (as he cannot dictate that). He also has racked up a lot of arrears for all the time the payments had been missed.
The other problems I have encountered his him trying numerous ways to reduce the amount he has to pay each month, with him trying to put through various changes on the system and trying to claim special expenses for a child, he rarely sees.
I do not rely on CMS money at all as you never know if you’ll get it or not. I do not regret claiming from the CMS as otherwise I would receive £0 each month from the paying parent. It hasn’t impacted my child, they still get what they need.

I would recommend using the system, it can be slow and they can be slow to arrange the setup, especially if you have to change to collect and pay with a deduction of earnings (that can takes up to 12 weeks to setup).
In your case, if he’s not on the BC, he might dispute your child is his which in that case CMS may request a DNA test. If he went for parental responsibility, he’d still have to pay unless he has the child under shared care.