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Husband making me feel rubbish for being tired

29 replies

Chronicnights · 24/01/2026 20:49

I’m a midwife, work full time usually 3/4 shifts a week and a mixture of nights/long days. I have been on nights the last 2 weeks, just finished my final one last night. I’ve also come down with whatever lurgy the kids have brought home so I’m sure that’s also taking effect!
husband makes me feel so bad about being tired/sleeping during the day. Has just made a comment to me saying he doesn’t understand how I can be tired when I’ve slept all day.

I finish work at 07:30, was home around 08:00, made my daughters breakfast and spent some time with them this morning. Got into bed at 10:30 planning to sleep for a few hours (switching back to days on Monday so trying to sort my sleeping pattern out!) but ended up sleeping until 17:00. I still feel shattered!

it’s not just the comments, it’s also the scoffs under his breath, and the eye rolls.

just to add, I don’t shirk off my parental responsibilities. I race back from nights to do the school runs in the morning, I bath them & get them ready for bed before I leave for work and prep my older daughters packed lunch and uniform. Do all shopping/laundry and majority of the cleaning. He WFH pretty much full time in a very well paid job.

OP posts:
99pwithaflake · 25/01/2026 14:00

Happy Birthday OP.

Please make 2026 the year you leave this awful person.

pastabest · 25/01/2026 21:19

Happy Birthday OP

Hope you have had a good day and he hasn't made you feel rubbish today because it's not all about him.

LucyLoo1972 · 30/01/2026 03:53

PunksVersusBrats · 25/01/2026 13:01

As a poster said a few weeks ago, lots of men resent it when the wife/mother appliance starts malfunctioning or showing signs of wear and tear, as it inconveniences them and they don't like that. We see their behaviour change accordingly in order to 'reboot' the said appliance.

Edited to say 'Happy Birthday!' 🎂🎁

Edited

this happened when I got mentally unwell - with psychosis - caused in large part by my husbands laziness and incompetence

I had the mental load of every single thign and did everything

when I got sick we didnt have broadband for a year becasue he couldnt sort it on his own

GoldenGirl85 · 30/01/2026 04:30

I’m in the same situation. It got slightly better when I exploded on DH and called him every name under the sun. His salary is enough for me not to work but I couldn’t risk being financially dependent on him because of how he is.

Do you have any family that can help lighten your load so you can relax ? Not sure if finances will stretch to get a weekly cleaner.

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