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Virtual hug please- 10 day old baby, very emotional

8 replies

Kate3150 · 22/01/2026 17:35

I’m very teary, I’m also breastfeeding so finding it all exhausting.
I’m trying to nap but brain can’t switch off.
I know it gets easier as this is my second but forgot how hard it all is 😞

OP posts:
HorsesForMorses · 22/01/2026 17:36

You'll get there, OP. The early days are so hard. Congratulations on your baby. You're doing great. X

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 22/01/2026 17:42

A big hug from me. I've had this three times, it hits like a train. Have you anyone useful in your life? Partner, friend mum?(my dh and mum were useless-dh didn't know what to do, mum just dismissed it as baby blues and it would go. Dh by time 2 was better) is the midwife still coming? Have a word with her. It does feel overwhelming but what specifically is making you feel this way? Can someone come and just sit with you? Make you a cuppa, listen.

DorisTheFinkasaurus · 22/01/2026 17:51

Virtual hug(s) incoming!!! Way past those days but oh we never forget! Just remember, it is totally ok to have some good sobs, self pity, and moments of 'oh my god I can't do this'. You can. You will.
You are well. Baby is well. Your body has been through a siege and the estrogen is crashing down. With two of mine, I had what I called baby blues brought on by so much love, exhaustion, and all of the things. With my second of three babies, the tears were more than baby blues and I went on to develop a rather bone-crushing PND for several months. Those babies are grown up now. We all made it through! We're all here. Now I just have to not cry when I look at the old thing staring back at me in the mirror... chin hairs, jowls, marionette lines down to my knees. Menopause is a whole other saga!

Feel safe in knowing when to tell yourself, "Wait a minute. I am really not coping and I need more support," and book in to see your GP (you can always bring it up at the post natal check but this is a few weeks away so, ring sooner if you're really not coping).

Can you catch a good solid few hours of sleep? Perhaps, for example, your partner can agree to do an all nighter this Friday and you can sleep in a separate room for maybe 7 hours straight... just a straight stretch of uninterrupted sleep will give you some ammo to get through a few tough nights. It's only a suggestion. But I found that solid hours of uninterrupted sleep got me back up and running again.

Hugs!!! Super hugs.

And yes, it was with my second that I had my PND. I think the leap was a little tougher than I'd anticipated plus there was an 8 year gap since my first. The jump from two to three was smooth as glass.
Just keep a weather eye on your mood. Know when to ask for a rope throw from the GP. Above all, make sure YOU are making time for yourself to stop and breathe, get some uninterrupted shuteye, food, cups of tea, TLC, etc. Make sure your partner is absolutely looking after you. You've done all the heavy lifting here. 💝

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Kate3150 · 22/01/2026 17:59

Thank you, I just dread the nights.
Im exclusively breastfeeding so feel it’s all on me. I miss getting into bed relaxed and feeling like I’m going to get a good rest.

OP posts:
Tiptopflipflop · 22/01/2026 18:06

Could you set yourself up a safe cosleeping space if you've not already? I found it so much more soul destroying when I didn't have to actually get out of bed anymore.

If that doesn't suit you, can your partner make a little basket of treats for you to enjoy in the night, can you line up something good to watch/listen to via headphones during feeds? Anything to make it a bit less grim being up in the cold and dark.

Remember, this too shall pass.

Ponderingwindow · 22/01/2026 18:10

You are in that time when you are constantly exhausted and also probably constantly panicked. It’s ok to not be ok.

Do you have good support from a partner? Is that person able to take primary responsibility for your older child?

If so, I would make sure you just focus on keeping the baby fed and happy right now. Let your partner worry about everything else including taking care of you with food and drinks. Your older child will need some attention, but you should be doing things like cuddles and story time not things that require physical effort. Basically, set up a throne somewhere for you and the baby and just nurse and rest. You can rotate to different spots in the house for mental health and practicality.

FairyGardensx · 22/01/2026 18:39

Early days op your young and been through it before, hows you other child getting on with it.

Kate3150 · 22/01/2026 19:11

My DH is amazing, I’m really lucky, he helps with everything.
My older DS is my best friend and I miss him, I think that’s also part of the problem.
I mean, I see him all the time but I miss the school runs and I suppose just focussing on him….
The weather doesn’t help as I only feel I see rain and darkness.
Ive got the HV coming tomorrow so will offload to her but I’m not sure what she will say/suggest.

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