Can you help me put this into words? Names for different messaging styles

[helpmearticulatethis]

I have been thinking about this for a while and I wonder if anyone can help me put a name to this.

I have been struggling with different styles of messaging, particularly on whatsapp, between formal and informal styles.

Sometimes, I will reply with quick one-word answers, jokes and it feels quite 'spontaneous' and authentic, but not very adult or grounded and feels quite chaotic and impulsive.

An example, a good friend messages and writes 'Going to this on Friday if you fancy it' and includes a link to a gig or event or whatever.

Now my 'initial' response would be to write something like:

'Omg yes!!!'
'Buying a ticket now'
Maybe with an emoji or two.

But this calmer, more adult part of me wants to write something like:

'Thank you so much. This looks great. I've bought a ticket and I will see you there. Thanks for thinking of me.'

Can anyone help me put a name to this?
Does anyone experience the same?

The first is like a stream of consciousness, the second more boundaried I guess.

If it's relevant, I'm mid-late thirties, wide social circle and feel I navigate relationships pretty well, but I think I am working on my written communication being more mature and solid if that makes any sense, as I find the quick fire chat on whatsapp to be fairly anxiety inducing.

Thank you if you got this far and for humouring me, I appreciate it's a bit of an odd one.

For me it depends on context or who im texting. Young uns get emojis amd text speak. Oldies get a more formal response usually.

I don't know what the terms for different styles are but kindly, I think your massively over thinking this.

Why do you need a name for this? If you want to communicate in a more deliberate way, just do that? Or are you one of those people who thinks a WhatsApp is an immediate unignorable summons, which must be responded to instantly?

Just calm down and take your time. WhatsApp isn’t like those Mission Impossible communiqués that self-destruct in a puff of smoke in five seconds.

Your second example seems very formal and could almost be a bot - I think you are transitioning to a more grown up style and not quite comfortable with it - it isn't in your own voice yet. I'm sure it will be!

I think the phrase you’re looking for is ‘code switching’ — look it up :)

It's personal taste but I prefer your first style as I like a bit of personality in messages.

The second is quite formal and probably best if messaging your boss or something.

Although even then, when I message my boss I'm very much myself 🤷‍♂️

But ultimately, you're overthinking this as I imagine no-one else really notices or minds.

Are you a journalist?

Why do want help in naming these?

No I'm not a journalist. I really have been struggling with the difference and I think as @borogovia says I think it's about transitioning to being more grown up/ intentional in how I communicate.

Yes, but that’s usually in response to different contexts, whereas in the example the OP gives, it’s the same message from the same friend that she has two different styles of response to — the one that’s her immediate response and is brief and emoji-laden, and the rather odd, much more formal one, where she thanks the friend for thinking of her, as if it’s an invitation to an ambassadorial reception rather than a gig.

This is really interesting, thank you.

Ha this made me lol.

I do think there's something about becoming more confident to communicate in the way that feels right to me, which to be honest is on the more formal side.

No, but I have certainly had to learn to not feel compelled to reply straight away, and not to act out of a people-pleasing anxiety. It's taken me years to get to this point.

The people who send me the most emojis are my parents who are in their late sixties and seventies. I don't think excessive emoji use and short broken up messages is a signifier of youth to be honest. (My mum at least gets the right emojis for the context, God only knows what my dad is up to half the time)

Op, I understand you. Actually I’m a similar age and also feel something akin to your description. I do wonder if it’s a bit of nostalgia for letter writing of old, that feeling of a considered, thoughtful and sincere response. It can feel like a stream of consciousness when communicating casually on WhatsApp et. al. with friends.

Perhaps, like me, you are craving a return to slower paced life in general? I have begun pen letter writing, writing thank you cards and similar. That’s my space for the part you named adult.

Yes, this exactly.
Thank you.

But in the example the OP gives, it’s a quick message with a link to an event a friend is going to in case the OP is interested in going too — there’s no need for a ‘considered, thoughtful and sincere response.’

I think you just need to be yourself on WhatsApp. What would you say to your friend if they asked you in person if you like to go to a gig? If you would say ‘yeah, sounds great!’ then say that on WhatsApp. Obviously work communication is different and formally more formal, but I can’t see why you would need to adopt a writing style any different to how you work normally speak when messaging friends.

No I agree that there isn't a need for one, but it's more that I want to give a more considered response, whereas in the past I wouldn't have.

Thanks all. Really appreciate the replies. Given me some interesting perspectives.

Sometimes I don't think enough when responding to work messages - I work in a very fast-paced environment and send about 1000 messages a day, so no time to think, which is in itself quite freeing!

Honestly, I think it’s odder that you want to ‘give a considered response’ to something that doesn’t require it.