crushes / dating at 13

[ToAvetarOrNotTo]

It seems common for dc in year 7 and 8 so aged 11-13 to have crushes. I know some even 'date' at this age whatever that may entail.

Dc1 has a crush and it seems reciprocal. She asked if she is allowed to date and I am so uncomfortable about this. Do I outright say no, not until you are 14 or 15? Or allow her to be friends with this boy? How do I best advise her? I have nothing at all against her becoming friends with this boy but the thought of dating at this age (whatever this may mean) concerns me as it's all a bit too soon. Or am I making too much of it and it's just normal for young teens?

I do worry that she may spend less time with her school friends or lose interest in hobbies. dd has a friend from primary who goes to a different school to dd now. Her friend has become completely boy obsessed and is dating a string of boys since year 7. She tells dd that she has kissed them. I find this much too young, personally.

To those with older teens, how have you handled this stage of parenting?

I posted this on the teenage forum earlier and got a helpful answer but am hoping for more traffic here.

Hopeful bump

Another hopeful bump, it can't just be us dealing with this, surely?

I think it’s ok to set ground rules (no boys in the bedroom, that kind of thing) but I don’t see the harm in “dating” which is likely to be holding hands and maybe a little kiss at the most. It’s not for us as parents to control their friendships/relationships, it’s for us to give them the tools to manage them appropriately.

I think it's perfectly normal to have a boyfriend/girlfriend at 13. You can have a chat with her about what she thinks dating will look like - hanging out together at your house or his, going on dates, spending time together in a group etc. Have whatever rules you feel comfortable with. Keep communication open so she feels comfortable coming to you with any questions or problems.

If you make it a big thing she won’t tell you when she is older and really needs advice. It’s completely normal for teens to feel attracted to others.