Does it get better?

[Nosleepforthismum]

I used to be fun with a career and a lively social life. I then met my DH and we continued to have fun and then we had a child which was great so we had another. I gave up my relatively low paying career to set up a business with DH which is thriving and financially we are doing well and I can juggle my hours around the kids easily. The kids are 4 & 2 and in preschool full time but I’ve realised today that I have become boring or just too tired to hold any kind of intelligent conversation.

We went to a close friends birthday dinner early evening with the kids tonight and although the kids were playing nicely together and then chilled watching a film, I found the conversation with our friends really difficult as I just felt so tired I was almost slurring my words (despite not drinking) and I just couldn’t have fun. I was just slow off the mark with conversation and my mind was a million miles away when people were talking. It’s happening more and more recently and I wonder if I’ll ever get my “spark” back. It can’t just be lack of sleep because sometimes the kids sleep great and yet I still feel like this.

Do you have any interests outside of work and your children?

Yes you will.

I’m convinced the hormones stay in our bodies years longer than the books currently say. I felt myself again only after final child was about 5/6. Straw poll of mates is others about the same. 2 is young you’re still in the fires.

Now totally have spark back but yes I was very dull for years. Could barely finish a sentence most of the time.

So I'm going to go against the grain here as a parent of a 4yo and 2yo, because your kids sound similar to mine in that they are as easy as they can be for their ages. I feel like everything is coming together again. If you are that slow and muddled I think that's worth a trip to the GP.

You say that now, I’ll bet you a fiver in 3 years you look back and realise it does take longer for most to feel fully themselves again. When my kids were 2 and 4 i’d have sworn blind I was back to normal but in retrospect I very much wasn’t

But the difference is that I feel fine and can hold a conversation, which the OP doesn't feel.

Was the conversation you couldn't keep up with really that interesting? Also, you were at an event with the children so half your brain has to be on making sure they are ok.

Go out without them now and again, you may enjoy being "yourself" again or decide that the conversations you are missing aren't that much of a loss!

May not be relevant but before I had my daughter I thought that within a week I'd miss my job and wish I was back at work, I really loved it.

A flittle while later when I was out in the sunshine with the baby in the pram and dog on the lead, I felt sorry for anyone that was in work! Obviously that feeling moved on in a while!