Husband moving abroad ahead of us- advice for people who’s partners live/work away!

[ChefsKisser]

Hello,
we are looking at relocating and it’s likely my husband would move 2-3 months ahead of us to get settled then me and kids would join when he’s all sorted with visas accommodation, settled in work etc. also works better for school transition.
I know lots of peoples partners work away for long periods of time and I know I’ll manage but does anyone have any advice tips or tricks with how to cope? Kids are 9 and 6 and generally well behaved but DH is super hands on and I know already I’ll struggle without him!

You might want to ask MNHQ to amend your title to advice FROM instead of for… people might not open the thread if they think you are giving advice if they don’t want it, but might if they see you are after advice?

Just need to be careful you do t have to all go to trigger your visa at the same time

We had to do this - DH needed to be in country to request our visas.
It was absolutely knackering. DH went in June (many years ago), and I handed in my notice to leave as the summer holidays started.

Emptying the house was really tough - we sold a lot, put bits in storage and shipped some stuff. I also had to do all the stuff like getting the house rented out, and selling the car - and trying to do all the above without a car was tough. Hadn't had much time to do it with DH around.

I flew out with the kids in September. It all happened very quickly at the end.

It was nice moving into a place that wasn't temporary tho - however it was very spartan. Someone though a family of 4 needed 4 forks, 4 plates etc....

We had a goodbye party. In a hall. With friends/family.
I helped the children pick some toys to take with them in their suitcase so they had familiar items until our shipment arrived.
Make sure you get all the necessary medical records and school information/vaccine records etc
if you can declutter as much as possible before your DH leaves. It’s much harder to do with children and no husband around. Also if you can book packers who will pack for you. Then you can live at home in a normal way for as long as possible.
The car - sell as late as possible and consider a hire car for until you leave the country.
There will be last minute issues but usually everything is sort out able.
We had a what app moving group and we noted things on there that were important.
Try to have regular scheduled face/video chats.
if possible see if there is 1 regular activity for the children booked for from when you arrive. Or ideas about what to do. It’s really helpful to get a routine established as soon as possible.
Otherwise I think my main advice is to get as much sorted both in the uk before DH leaves and in new country by DH before you guys arrive. It just makes life easier.
Where are you moving too?

Not quite the same situation here but will tell you what I'm doing in case it helps. My partner is moving to another country the week after my due date (hoping he's actually here for the birth). We'll be sorting the accommodation and pack everything up a couple of months before and live in a rental until I give birth (I'm giving birth in another city anyway). He'll be flying there occasionally to set everything up, get our health insurances sorted, a car etc.

Depending on where you move you can start looking into registering your kids and yourselves to a doctor, before you actually move, this is what we're doing. I will also have his family and mine over to help with the baby while he's away. So by the time we actually have to fly over there, everything would've been set up and we won't have a lot to travel with either. I've also started looking into what classes/events they have there so I can try making friends rather than wait until I arrive. Best of luck!

I have direct experience of both things.

DH works away at random - sometimes for up to 6 months at a time, but more often it’s around a month.

Our last overseas situation where we all relocated, DH went about 6 weeks ahead of me and the DCs. I wrapped up my job and the last of the packing, managed the handing back of the keys to our uk rental property etc
Then DH came back for a few days so we could all say our goodbyes to family/friends etc and then we all flew to our new home together.
Don’t get me wrong, the time where you’re flying solo trying to juggle all the things and be a parent at the same time is rough. But staying in regular contact with DH and keeping eachother in the loop with everything each side really helped. And I just kept telling myself it wasn’t for long!
Good luck OP!

We were debating doing the same but we ended up moving as a family and sorting out everything altogether. We have 3 kids (5,3 & 1). I was worried staying behind for the same reason as you, my husband is super hands on, and also doing a 24h flight by myself with 3 kids. Long story short, we took the kids to house viewings, to buy a car, unlimited visits to ikea etc and they actually found it really fun.

When my partner moved abroad ahead of us, it really did feel like juggling three jobs at once, especially with two little ones who were used to having both parents around. The hardest bit for me was evenings and weekends when we all felt his absence more. One thing that helped was keeping daily video calls-even brief ones-just to let the kids see their dad regularly. I leaned on friends and family more than usual for small favors like babysitting or just coming by for dinner. If possible, planning short visits or even overnight stays with relatives can give everyone a break.

Shipping and dealing with all the moving bits was stressful, but letting pros handle the move made a world of difference. I went with a company vetted through friends who handled shipping, storage, and customs so I could focus on the kids and paperwork. If you need someone reliable for international relocation, ThreeMovers could be a place to start since they’re very experienced and transparent about processes.