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Had anyone got 1 child and ...

30 replies

TinselTina · 16/01/2026 11:40

Are at peace with this ? Like its not something you overthink ? I have 1 child and all I see on Instagram is one and done mums justifying themselves. Its given me guilt !

OP posts:
StrepsilsPlease · 16/01/2026 13:25

bookworm14 · 16/01/2026 13:23

Why do you think they see being an only child as a hideous, pitiable fate?

Outdated assumptions about loneliness/selfishness. Most of the stereotypes about only children are based on ‘research’ from the Victorian era.

Edited

Ah thank you. Yes I myself believed that any ‘only child’ prejudice had disappeared a long time ago!

Theonlywayicanloveyou · 16/01/2026 13:29

I’m an only child and have a great life!

I chose to have two kids myself, but if the second hadn’t happened I would have been very at peace because I know for a fact an only child’s life is lovely.

In fact I sometimes worry about the damage the amount of noise and chaos in our house with 2 could be doing to my eldest who is ND and needs more quiet time.

If you’re happy, that’s all that matters! Ignore all these people with their under informed views.

Iamdefinitelynamechangingforthis · 16/01/2026 13:34

StrepsilsPlease · 16/01/2026 12:49

Why do you have guilt about your child being an only ?

Show quote history

I wanted them to have a sibling. I don’t have rosy glasses, just that sometimes it’s nice to have a person who completely understands where you come from.

And also it’s a bit of self-guilt that my body couldn’t do what I asked of it. That has passed now, but it did take time.

So it was a strange mix of guilt at a lack of company, a body that wouldn’t do what it’s supposed to and maybe loss of what we’d hoped our family would look like.

As I’ve got older (DC is in their 20s now) I’ve realised that they at least grew up with two parents who still love each other, and that I actually broke the chain in the family - one woman in each generation did not have children. Without modern medicine, that would have been me, so there’s that.

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amoosebouche · 16/01/2026 13:35

1 and finally at peace with it. It's taken many many years though. We both nearly died in childbirth, but that didn't stop me trying to give DC a sibling. Sadly my body wasn't having it and I had multiple losses. The first 5 years were the worst, but once they were around age 8, people stopped asking. Having 1 has turned out to be the best thing for our family, I don't think we'd have coped well with more.

StrepsilsPlease · 16/01/2026 13:39

Iamdefinitelynamechangingforthis · 16/01/2026 13:34

I wanted them to have a sibling. I don’t have rosy glasses, just that sometimes it’s nice to have a person who completely understands where you come from.

And also it’s a bit of self-guilt that my body couldn’t do what I asked of it. That has passed now, but it did take time.

So it was a strange mix of guilt at a lack of company, a body that wouldn’t do what it’s supposed to and maybe loss of what we’d hoped our family would look like.

As I’ve got older (DC is in their 20s now) I’ve realised that they at least grew up with two parents who still love each other, and that I actually broke the chain in the family - one woman in each generation did not have children. Without modern medicine, that would have been me, so there’s that.

Show quote history

ah thank you for explaining ❤️

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