Quick question: do you still restrict your DC16 phone usage?

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Short version: DC16, do you still make them leave their phone downstairs at night or otherwise use parental controls to restrict their phone at night?

Long version: when DC finished GCSEs we relaxed all the phone time restrictions. Now he stays up half the night on it. He does get up for college but he’s practically falling asleep all day and sometimes goes straight to bed at 5pm when he gets home. Sleeps half the day at weekends. And all this messes with his meals so he eats at random times and mostly crap. I don’t know whether I should put the restrictions back on to get him into a better routine or let him get on with it and figure life out himself.

I have a 16yo but they are in yr11 so in the midst of GCSEs. I know the discussions around removing controls will start once their exams are done so I need to prepare for it!

Have a chat first with him and ask him about things. Find out what he thinks is happening. He may want to stop but be struggling to do it all the same so he might like some tough love from you.

Although many at that age are mature enough to sort this for themselves, he may need you to help him - plenty of adults pay someone to 'police' them because they just can't quite do it themselves.

I think there are still restrictions on DD15's phone from when she was 11 or so but now that she has a pad and a laptop, that is largely moot.

If you think he is online gaming through the night (likely) you may need to set restrictions on your router so that no devices work online at certain times but be aware that if he has a good data package that may not work either.

Bump

They have to learn, doesnt matter if they are tired, they have to deal with it. I definitely wouldnt be controlling phone usage after school age.

My youngest has been working full time since 16, nearly 2 years on he still has the odd nap after work if hes stayed up late. Teens tend to be night owls so I have no issue with it. He works hard and manages to get up ok.

No I didn’t with my DS. He had to learn the consequences of his actions. If he stayed up too late and was tired the next morning that was for him to deal with. But he didn’t go to bed when he got home. I think you need to intervene and get him doing jobs and eating dinner after college. I would go in to my DS at lunchtime on the weekends if he wasn’t up or he’d be nocturnal.
Also maybe get his iron levels checked at your GP, there could be other reasons for extreme tiredness. I had my youngest checked as she was falling asleep after school and she’s anaemic. Medication has resolved it.
It’s a transition period so there’s an element of learning to be independent but that doesn’t mean you can’t help him by keeping him busy so he’s awake when he needs to be.
Mine got through this and he’s often up before me when he’s home from Uni now.

I didn’t have a ‘phones downstairs overnight’ rule, she learnt quite quickly to self regulate when it wasn’t hailed as some kind of rationed holy grail.

I’m aware this might just be luck of the draw, child wise, though. My partners son doesn’t have any self regulation skills at all so he has to take a different approach.

DS is 16 but in year 11 so GCSE year so I still take his phone at night in the week, not at weekends.

Phones aren't allowed at meal table or upstairs overnight. That applies to both of us.

Other than that, no. Ds is sensible, grounded and knows how to be more careful than I do. He doesn't drink, smoke or vape and is a cheerful young man who knows I have his back, always.