Weird physical sensation when work-flow is interrupted -anyone else?

[TheMotherShipAhoy]

What is this sensation I'm experiencing?
Not sure if it's just a me-thing or age-related or what -does anyone else get this?

For context: I'm a perimenopausal parent of teen DC, work FT in demanding role (typical 'delivering under pressure, working at pace' kind of thing), which sees me working long days -first at work and subsequently in the evenings as I get home- and I suppose I probably have, as is often the case at this time in many women's lives, a number of conflicting needs of close family members to attend to and some stressful ongoing issues. So nothing out of the ordinary. People often remark on how I take things in my stride and how I'm the one to 'hold things together', both in my family and in my workplace, which makes this 'thing' weirdly uncharacteristic as it's so un-chill.

The thing I'm wondering about is a very uncomfortable sensation arising in my brain (?), or perhaps more in my thinking process, when working, and I need to wait -even for a few seconds- for some kind of techy, computer based process to occur or take effect before I can progress with my task: it can be something as insignificant as an authentication process, verification of accounts, clicking through files to find the right folder, even waiting for an app to load. I can't quite describe the feeling (maybe a bit like stubbing my toe but in my brain!?), but it's so bad I'm now dreading (or worse: avoiding) certain tasks as they contain too many 'processes' and too many glitchy interruptions in the flow of my thinking. I want to say it's actually painful, despite that sounding really weird; but it does feel so uncomfortable, and I've realised I sort of flinch inwardly when it happens. I think, because I need to keep lots of thought process spinning simultaneously as I work, any interruption and disruption of focus requires an internal effort to recalibrate my thinking and it's effortful. It's like I can't work fast enough to follow the flow of my own thinking and pausing, however briefly, literally hurts my head.

It's definitely got worse in the last 5 years, with increased demands in work and homelife, alongside a suite of early perimenopausal symptoms, although none of these feel too severe yet.

Can anyone relate, or explain?

I sort of know what you mean. I’m in a similar position and I get very impatient with these types of processes but I thought it was perimenopausal rage….!

I have ADHD and have had this for years. Its lower working memory. My brain doesn't work as fast as it does (age) and I can't hold all the info in one place.

Best thing I did that helped was to buy an extra wide monitor screen and use Microsoft BI to clip the applications to the screen so they stay open side by side. I also work in blocks of time, so I use timers and a body doubling website, to make myself feel better about working. If there's anything new I need to do now, I write process notes for it the first time I do it, so I never have to 'think' the next time I do it. Breathing based exercises are good too.

@CarminaBiryaniI had never heard of body doubling but it looks extremely helpful. Thank you!!

Thank you. I had assumed it was perimenopause related, but it's definitely not rage -it feels more like a sharp jolt or an electric shock. I'm cringing as I write that because it sounds so precious.

Body doubling sounds interesting -I have found that I cope much better when I have something else 'running' concurrently with the task I'm working on. When I can, I usually have an audio book playing in the background; I'm not really listening to it, and some favourite books I must have played a hundred times, but there is something about the rumbling repetitiveness of the narrator's voice that soothes and sort of 'bridges' the interruptions to attention and it really helps. Curiously, I learnt it from my autistic DC1, who often gets a friend on call or puts on some related YouTube clips when she's trying to engage with a task.

I use sound all the time for activities and transitions. I've got playlists and some of them I've listened to hundreds of times. Then I suddenly can't listen to them ever again 🤣

OP is it like a record scratch feeling?

Since covid DH wfh now and DM’s needs have changed and I spend more time with her, which is a complete 180 from before, when I had hours to myself. Another change is that my periods have stopped and I’m on HRT.

If I’m involved in a task and am interrupted, even a brief and benign interruption, it feels like I have to mentally drop the first task entirely and then when I go back to it I’ve lost ground and I have to mentally rewind to an earlier point to find where I left off.

A lot of tasks I used to do without much mental effort are harder now, not only because I’m being interrupted but because I’m on edge that I’m about to be interrupted. And just under the surface I’m waiting to be alone so I can complete my tasks uninterrupted, even if that’s not a realistic possibility.

I probably sound very high maintenance lol.

Anyway part of that phenomenon is a feeling like a record scratch in my head, idk if that’s anything like your experience.