24 is the new 18?

[MikeRafone]

Do you think young people take much longer to grow up?

I find people staying in education, helicopter parents, not letting children out alone until much older, keep teenagers much more infantile than previous generations

I did let both my dc out to playing the 90s and 00, expect them to get jobs at 16, expected them to pay rent, get themselves places on the bus from 11 years old, out cycling or walking g to school, out at the weekends and no tracking back then.

teens seem to be much more immature, lovely but not in the slightest grown up.

I remember starting work though and having the same, people telling me that at 18 they were married with their own home and not living with parents and grifting along!

Not in my experience. My kids are 21 and 19; both have worked (part time) since 16. They were taking public transport to school across a big city from 11 and using their travel passes at the weekend to meet up with friends in the city centre.

Both my kids have travelled abroad extensively independently, and they both bought their own cars.

They seem much more confident and worldly wise than I was in the 90s. Their friends are all similar.

The 19 year old dashed out the other evening - a friend they’d been worried about had been found wandering in the road in the cold and rain with no shoes on. Another friend and his girlfriend had tracked him down, rescued him and taken him to A&E for a mental health assessment. Ds was off to the lad’s mum’s house to let her know where he was. As he listened to a voice note from the friend at hospital explaining his state and what was happening, I was struck by how mature they were. I would have been clueless and scared in the face of a mental health crisis at his age.

Your dc still living with you? My eldest was in her own place by 18 and then moved to another city 2 hours away but youngest still at home until 24

Isn't that about the cost of housing rather than maturity (or lack thereof)?

No not in my experience. My 22 and 20 year olds are both working and have moved out.

They’ve worked abroad and are pretty independent!

regardless, does it enforce immaturity?

I am 24 with an 8 year old and a 1 year old child and a mortgage.

I don't know why adults are treated like children it is very frustrating, i don't know if some parents like to extend childhood and that is where problems lie, my Dc were fulltime working at 24 i have one child who works in the Emergency services since they were 21,it is insulting to see these people as "teenagers"

I don’t think previous generations were more grown up or mature just because they bought a house earlier. I think plenty struggled with life & had addictions, mental health issues, etc. many women probably felt quite trapped.

Very normal in London for dc to travel to school themselves from yr 5 upwards.

regardless, does it enforce immaturity

plenty if us don’t ever feel grown up!

And moved out at 16

I think it depends. My DH lived at home until he was 31 but it was entirely down to his laziness and wanting to focus on his career (he was an actor), nothing to do with his maturity.

I ran my home from 18, and my kids were all moved out by 20. I don’t think you do them any favours by letting them rely on you for things they need to do themselves

There's a breed of parents (especially on MN) which seem to want to infantilise teenagers and young adults.

Well they're both at uni, so yes, they're at home a fair amount in the uni holidays - but that's always been the case for students? To be fair, dd spent a lot of the summer in her uni house as she had a part time job there.

That's also a very 21st century western viewpoint! In some cultures (eg South Asian) families live in extended family homes. So the sons don't 'leave home' as such - does that make them permanently immature?

The junior school where both my dc attended, and walked to and from from year 2. Now the school refuses to let children out of the class room to go home unless a known adult is there to fetch them until year 6. The parent doesn’t get to choose

I was pregnant at 16 in 2009, my 16 year old shares a bunk bed and got a train by himself for the first time the other day, and I was nervous about it.

I would defo say yes.

I was like an adult at that age. I was getting the train at age 11.

I do however think the delayed growing up is a good thing. I could be a grandmother in my early 30s if my son followed my lead. Childhood is so short. Then it is adulthood until you die so let kids be kids.

From what I’ve seen of some sons in other cultures, possibly. Not just the living in one home, but how the sons are treated could also be very infantilised

@MikeRafone I don’t think it’s normal for 6 year olds to walk home from school alone & it wasn’t the norm when I was a dc. But certainly from yr 5 onwards many schools allow it.

Plus the school can’t chose how a child gets to school.

Oh i wouldn't let mine walk to school on the premise I didn't know if they hadn't arrived - so got them to walk home as I would know if they weren't home and could walk up towards the school and see them coming home - that was my logic

I did let them walk to school as they got to year 4, but they were by then confident. One day the lollipop lady didn't turn up so dc came back to get me and I went up and crossed her over. dc had been told that was the plan and she stuck to it

Oh i wouldn't let mine walk to school on the premise I didn't know if they hadn't arrived

Parents know if their dc aren’t in school nowadays.

how? do any walk to school without parents?

If your dc aren’t in school for registration you get a notification they that are not in

Do any dc walk to school without parents? What do you mean? you said yours did & plenty do.

My eldest child is 33 they were not allowed to leave the playground alone at hometime untill primary 5 so they were 9, i don't think that makes for immature adults.