Exhaustion - is this normal?

[Lavender14]

I'm a lone parent and wft so life is busy but most days I'm able to get everything done I need to and chill on the sofa for an hour or so before bed at 11.30. Ds is an older toddler but is generally a pretty easy kid and sleeps through most nights.

I am still struggling massively with tiredness. I'm usually sleeping between 11.30/12.30 and then up at 6.30 for getting us ready for work/ nursery but I can barely drag myself out of bed some mornings. In work if I'm doing any form of sedentary work I can feel my eyes closing and there's been a couple of times I've been traveling for work in the past few weeks where I've felt my eyes closing while driving and I've had to pull over. If I'm active and moving I'm fine, it just hits me as soon as I stop and especially in the morning trying to get myself motivated to get up.

Is this normal? I eat reasonably well, I don't get a huge amount of exercise during the week but at weekends ds and I will be out walking at least an hour each day. I take supplements. I generally sleep through the night (although I do snore badly it doesn't seem to wake me).

Is there anything I can do to improve my energy levels?

Sounds obvious but what about going to bed earlier? 11.30/12.30 seems quite late to me if you're up at 6.30.

I couldn’t live with that little sleep, so I’d look at that, and take vitamin B complex for energy. Might also be worth getting your iron checked.

I think I feel like by the time I get everything finished up after dinner/ bedtime/sorting house etc that little time for myself in the evening is really precious to just actually wind down before I go to bed. I've a busy job etc and obviously home is busy as everything falls to me so going from work into home into sleep into work feels a bit overwhelming? So I often feel really conflicted between wanting to just go to bed as soon as ds goes to bed, and feeling like i should try to have a bit of time where I'm not 'on' to clear my own head.

It might be your quality of sleep or diet. Being in bed for another hour may actually be counterproductive, or measuring your sleep patterns, as too much focus on sleep can make us worry about it too much.

IANAD but I'd say you could have sleep apnoea and should get checked out by your GP.

I was going to suggest sleep apnoea. Or vitamin deficiency.

To me, you aren't getting enough sleep and have a very long day if you aren't sitting down until 10.30ish. Is there any way you can cut corners/lower standards etc so you sit down by 9ish and are in bed by 10/10:30? Or just have more chill time if you don't need that much sleep?

I feel like you do sometimes but know it’s lack of sleep. And decent sleep. But I can’t change that right now

You need more sleep!

Everyone is different- sleep requirements are as different as shoe sizes. 6 to 7 hours is normal for me whatever time I go to bed or whatever I do and I am fine on it as my sleep quality must be quite good. I don't feel like the OP.

Get yourself tested for obstructive sleep apnoea.

Have a blood test to check iron levels. Having low iron can make you tired when you don’t think you should be as bad as you feel.

You need to classify sleep as your down time I'm afraid and get to bed by 10. This isn't forever, just while you kid is small. Because as they grow your evenings will become more relaxing. Try it for two weeks consistently to see how it makes you feel.

My first thought too sleep apnoea having worked with 2 people (one male, one female) who were surprised to find this was the reason they were so tired during the day.

Prioritise sleep

Everything else feels better when you grt enough

Tasks seem less dull and easier to achieve

Don’t be hard on yourself

It is hard in the early years 😊

Sorry for typos ☹️

Change up your routine. Once you have finished the evening chores, go to bed with a hot chocolate and a light book, and try to be going to sleep by 10/10.30 pm. No screen after 9 pm.

Try for a couple of weeks and see if you feel better.

This is exactly how I felt when i had a vitamin d deficiency.

Get some blood tests done to make sure you’re not deficient in anything but honestly the answer is probably more sleep.

I probably could do a bit less in the evenings but I have a bit of a fear of getting behind if I get sick or something so try to keep on top of things so if it happens then at least I'm not already behind if that makes sense. I also do much less life admin and housework at the weekend because ds is home and needs more attention and we go out and about a lot so I don't want to be spending my weekends doing my housework. The only childcare I have enables me to go to work so being behind is horrible to get caught up with.