Would this irritate you? Working “with “ DH

[Over50overit]

Working for DH. He says he works with me but he gives me tasks and checks them. I don’t do this with him. If he asks me to send an email and I don’t send the exact wording he said he will say “you did word it exactly as I said as in…. didn’t you?” He has already looked at the sent email and knows I didn’t word it the exact way he wanted it. This irritates/ infuriates me depending on how annoyed and angry he is. Can he not just say you didn’t word it the way I wanted. Can you send another one and rectify it. Is this too much to ask? He makes a huge deal of the fact at that I didn’t word it exactly as he wanted it. I’m busy. Extremely busy. We have 2 teenage Dc, a dog and a cat, I can’t remember every little word/sentence he says as gospel. I ask him to text me so I have it in writing but he doesn’t.

Why doesn't he just use his massive man brain and send the email himself?

Stop this wifework. If he wants an email sent on his words, tell him to crack on.

you need to get yourself on threads and find the Sherlocked account 😊

It would take him less time to send the bloody email himself than all this checking up and berating you for not doing it quite right, tell him to do that next time!

Why are you doing this for him? He doesn't sound at all appreciative.

I thought being Sherlocked was being outdone by a clever person? Does this apply to me? Maybe it does but I’m not intelligent enough to know.

This. Telling you, finding the sent one, reading it, complaining. All massively more wrk than just doing it himself.

Which means he likes it.

That would drive me mad tbh. Surely it would be faster for him to send the email that requesting you to send it, telling you what to send and then checking it and complaining. He sounds like a micromanager.

Does he think you’re his secretary?

@Over50overit Does he pay you for the work you do?

Does he pay you?
If so he should treat you with the same respect he would any employee and you should treat him as your boss (if he is)
If you are doing it for free to help out do what you want

Are you employed by him? Does he employ anyone else? Can he delegate appropriately with them? Has he trained you in whatever processes he requires from you? He's ruining his productivity by needless micromanaging. He either trusts his employee(s) or he doesn't. If he doesn't he should sack you or train you

If you're not being paid then stop joining in with this

The example you give there - the email - shows a massive waste of time. Yours and his. Do you boyh really have this amount of time to waste?

Sherlocked refers to a lady on threads who at one point refused to do the mental work. Her husband volunteered to hold a party for a nice or nephew at their house, and expected her to step up. She grey rocked, didn't offer to do anything, ignored all hints. No one asked directly for help. This gave rise to the following phrase: and then I walked off to admire the walls.

Here you go

https://www.threads.com/@i_am__sherlocked__?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

What is going on here? This is nothing like a normal work situation. Workers in offices don’t operate that way - the micromanagement and bullying. What are you roles suppose to be?

Wouldn't it be MUCH quicker for him to send his own email?

Working for your H risks a weird dynamic and him behaving like this should rule it out!

If his business is viable he should be able to pay someone outside his marriage and family to do the work, eg part time or ad hoc.

if he behaves like that with them he will struggle to retain their services!

When you say work, do you mean employment? A business? Or do you mean he's keeps getting you to do his personal shit?

I ask because my husband and I had a business together many years ago. He was the director and I was the office manager and yes he gave me instructions. Because that was his role and mine was to follow them.

One time I fucked up and he gave me a right bollocking and threatened to fire me. (I got a formal warning. Yes it was a giant fuckup)

I've dined out on that story for years 🤣

But in order to work together you have to be able to separate work and home. You are husband and wife and home and colleagues at work and you can't carry one into the other.

If you dont work together and you just mean he's telling you to email his dentist or whatever then tell him to get to fuck.