What do you do when you don't approve of 13 yo DS's friend?

[Nerdle]

DS, 13, has for the first time found a small group of friends. It's generally a good thing as he was friendly with everyone at primary rather than having a best friend, and I think this has been a big boost to his confidence etc.

But one of these friends is a bit of a tearaway. I know his mum and she is lovely, but a bit ineffective in terms of telling him off (we used to often be in the park together after primary and I would see her son be a bit of a thug and she never really said no or told him off, but my ds wasn't really friendly with him at that time so didn't impact us.)

Anyway, I obviously talk to my ds about makig the right choices etc. But I just wondered whether anyone has had similar and if you did anything to deter the friendship, or to show your disapproval of their friend's actions?

I am not sure I could talk to the mum - I have nothing concrete to say other than her son is a bit of a rascal. And obv I know my ds would be more than capable of being so too, though so far he hasn't as he's never had this hang out after school thing before.

And yes, I do know it could be much worse and he could have chosen someone really bad as a friend!

I'm afraid they are at an age where they need to start learning things for themselves. You are basing this off your view of this child, most likely yours will see them differently. And both views may be correct. If you are really worried then I would suggest maybe watching shows or videos with characters similar to what you are describing with this child, then just having normal conversations with yours about it. You will then see what their opinion in on those types of people. Is your child low in confidence and easily led? If yes then work on that side of them to lessen any chance of them doing anything they shouldn't just to please someone else. And if they are not then I would leave them to learn about this friendship themself (unless anything serious ever comes to light)

I don't have an real suggestions OP, other than I went through this with my 3 DCs.
In my case, we were always a close family, and still are. I was a SAHM at that time, and I never showed my dislike of any of my DCs friends. I treated them with respect, and did for each what I would do for my DCs.
Having them over for meals, birthdays, etc.. never saying anything critical about them.

I soon realised though, that for whatever reason, my DCs made their own minds up about some of the 'friends' who turned out not to be friends by their actions and words.

I can only think that by doing that, by not resisting their choice of kids to hang out with, they made the decision themselves that they didn't like to be associated with kids that would do what none of us ever did as a family.

My youngest DS is a people pleaser, and yet, he was certain even as a child, that he didn't want to be associated with anyone that didn't want to play by the rules of society.

I think DCs generally are influenced by their parent's behaviour and standards, if the parent doesn't present as heavy-handed, judgmental, threatening, or overly controlling, and lives by what they believe, and is fair to everyone, I think it allows the space for the child to decide for themselves.