Do you and your DH/ Partner balance each other? Good at different things?

[pontipinemum]

I often think myself and DH have a very good balance on what skills we have. He is a farmer and a qualified fitter. He is so good at making and fixing things. He will then do all the DIY project that I plan. We got a new bathroom in a few years ago and he did all that, - his dad did the tiling. He will clean the chimney or pull out the water softener 'thing' and fix it. Cuts the grass, hedges, cleans out drains.

I'm an accountant, so do his accounts! I work 3 days for a company and the other 4 is doing farm admin, most of the cleaning, all things to do with food (shop/plan/cook). I plan holidays and days out. Plan Christmas and birthday. I also look after all the financials (he does have full access to see it).

He is very practical and 'salt of the earth' I am a bit bouncy and have a lot of ideas and energy. I will say I am resourceful though and will figure out something.

I am the default parent, which does get a bit annoying. But in the evenings we are usually 50/50 with bed time etc.

I think in general we are a nice balance.

How is yours?

DH and I are complete opposites, but complementary opposites. He is calm and cautious and tends to the pessimistic. I am energetic and lively and tend towards optimism. Oddly enough, though, I am the forward planner whilst he is more concerned with the here and now. I am good with people, he is good with “stuff” - like the fabled “life admin”!

What we have in common is our values, and our sense of humour. So I think we match up very well.

Yep, to be honest I think what you describe is almost the ideal setup for a family or any team as it allows people to specialise and is way more efficient than everyone doing everything equally irrespective of competence or preference.

The biggest issue though is that some things are valued way more than others in modern society. So if you are fantastic as doing any kind of domestic or caring work especially in your own home then this will be seen as infinitely less valuable than someone that can sell their skill for preferably lots of money. This is a particular problem when there is a divorce or relationship breakdown and you find that actually all the hours you spent feeding the family nutritious, tasty home cooked meals or decorating the home beautifully are very hard to assign a monetary value to in the same way that someone earning a wage can.

@MadameSzyszkoBohusz I like that 'you share the same values' I think that is what works so well for us too. In many ways you would never put me and DH together but we just work.

@Bargepole45 a very wise older cousin of mine told me in my early 20s to marry someone who does something completely opposite to you. She was one of the top directors in a city investment bank for decades, her husband is a carpenter. I think they compliment each other.

Yes. We have a very stereotypical gender balance because unfortunately I'm useless at anything fixing or making and do know how to cook and run a household, whereas he is an ADHD genius who forgets incredibly basic things but can make, fix and build anything. He does tidy and clean up after himself and does all the parenting of his kids when they are here but otherwise I do all the food shopping and cooking, most of the cleaning and all the house admin. It works extremely well and we both appreciate what the other does.

We’re the same. Been married 37 years! We are opposites in many ways but I like to think of it as complimenting each other with different skills.

Plus as a PP said, the most important thing in a partnership is having similar morals and values. We are definitely aligned with those things.