Why is my cat such a dick?

[Makemineacosmo]

Especially when I am in bed with flu. Proper flu like I haven't had for decades, going into day 4 (even though I had my jab, thank god). So I feel like shite. And the ginger bastard seems determined to stop me from sleeping at all. The latch on our bedroom door is broken, but if I put something against the door to keep him out, he screams like he's being murdered until I let him in. Then he sits and stares at me while shoving every single item off of my dressing table.

He eventually snuggled on the bed. Great I thought. Until the very second I drop off to sleep (and I've barely slept because my temp has been so high and I've been tossing and turning) when he decides to slap me around the face. Every fucking time.

The only time he left me alone today he apparently tried to kill DH on the stairs.

I rescued him, he has massive fields around to do whatever he wants and on any other day he can barely be bothered to look in my direction. He has a million toys, a massive scratching gym thing that DH spent weeks on. But no, he choose to torment the life out of me when I'm poorly.

I love the very bones of him but god almighty he's a fucking knobhead.

I think it's his way of showing that he loves you.

He's worried about you... honestly. You're not up and alert and doing your usual things. He's a crap carer... but he definitely cares.

That’s cats for you! (Coming from a cat lover). I bet he’s missing you and it’s his way of showing love. Ours is a nightmare on the stairs too!! Feel better soon 🙂🙂

Ah, a ginger. Says it all. He loves you, he’s worried, he’s too dim to realise that a smack across the face isn’t the best way of expressing this. Get well soon!

That's a ginger cat 😺 for you 😅 Hope you feel better soon 🙏 The cat sure seems a handful.

Keep it in one room? Personally my cats stay in the kitchen / dining room when I’m asleep.

Cats are strange creatures. A tabby I had, once started pulling my hair out when I was in bed ill. Not best pleased with her.

My ginger knobhead insists on becoming a furry hat when I'm in bed ill but if I dare move he turns into the alien face hugger and bites my head. They have strange ways of showing they care.

My ginger cat brought me a live mouse when I was ill in bed once. Carefully tucked it under the duvet. I’m assuming he was worried about me.

He loves you and he's worried and you smell different because of the fever and you're probably wheezing so sound strange.

That's what I told myself was motivating Tiddles in MY first week with flu. Not that she was checking me out to see when it would be safe to eat me, oh no.

It's a ginger thing! Really OP, he can't help it 😂😂 feel better soon!

Maybe he thinks you're dying when you fall asleep so he slaps you to keep you alive.

Or he's just a dick. Could be either.

Hopefully he won't bring you a mouse to keep your strength up.

Solidarity, because I have a cat that gets on top of the wardrobe and then sits and screams like he's hanging off a ledge on Everest by his fingernails every time I'm ill, or just having a lie in. Basically if I'm abed at a time he deems improper.

If I get up, he gets in the bed and goes to sleep.

He's worried. I was very ill once with a kidney infection and my gentle, adoring moggy literally stood on my pillow and repeatedly kicked my head with her back legs. I think she was trying to resuscitate me. Hope you feel better soon

The thought of him being worried about me is making me smile. 🐱 The dog is a very lovely nurse, very gentle and quiet (the opposite of how he normally is). He would literally die for me. The cat? Not so much.

It’s this. He’s making sure you don’t die. It’s cute.

My dear old boy did the same. Except I was laid up with a broken ankle. I’ll never forget the pain as I leapt off the sofa.

Is this treatment repayment for you and the vet conspiring to make him wear a Cone of Shame at some point in his life, OP?

The old saying goes: "Dogs have masters, and cats have staff". This explains the difference in their behaviours while you are laid up.

As the cat's personal slave, you are clearly doing an inadequate job of meeting his needs while lying in bed. It's even WORSE that you try to go to sleep on the job when he needs feeding or pampering!

Also, your DH deserved nearly being killed on the stairs. He was obviously in the cat's way when he needed to sashay downstairs in a righteous huff about you ignoring his wishes! In any case, it was probably considered to be your DH's turn to mind you, anyway, because the cat had better things to do than sit with an ungrateful patient like you 😂

Well to be honest, that's because dogs are a bit helpless, so he's flopped out. The cat knows he could get help if needed... this is how it works...

Day one: Why isn't human can opener doing their job? Must meow loudly, repeatedly.
Day two: Why isn't human can opener doing their job? Must poke in face, repeatedly.
Day three: Why isn't human can opener doing their job? Must chew ear, repeatedly.
Day four: Why isn't human can opener doing their job? Secondary human can opener is crap and not fixing primary human can opener. Must make last ditch attempt at bringing to life - repeated toe bean face slaps - and if nothing prevails I will summon all of my fellow floofs by yowling loudly outside window all night. And we can take the case to the Supreme Feline if necessary and I will have to go on a long voyage... YOWWWWWLLLLL.
Day five: Ah human can opener appears alive. Good job Marmalade, good job.

Cats consider themselves to be gods. He’s just making sure that no matter how ill you are, you haven’t forgotten how important he is.

He sounds like he has an annoying way of showing you that he loves you. Hopefully you feel much better soon.

😂 ohh dear my Dcat usually sleeps quietly next to me when I’m poorly maybe he’s plotting for me to meet my demise so he can eat my nose and whatever else he fancies or he’s just odd and I’m lucky to have a cat that loves to snooze with me.

I had flu a couple of months ago. I actually moved room and slept in the guest room because it was nearer the loo.

my cats were very, very concerned. They did not like the change and for the first few days I had all three of them in there constantly wondering what the fuck was going on.
it was mildly amusing and I didn’t have the strength or energy to do anything except listen to the radio and watch them be confused.
they did eventually decide I wasn’t dying and reduce the watch down to one at a time.

I shouldn’t really be answering your concerns without you having paid the obligatory cat tax but if your cat is anything like mine, he won’t like the routine of the house being deviated from.

Because cat? Seriously though he's probably trying to rouse you as he thinks you're malfunctioning.

Orange cat? Need you say more? Explains everything

Our orange cat is a little rogue, but he’s honestly the best wee bed buddy if you’re poorly. It’s like he knows. That said, I have never been so unwell on my own with him that he’s had to go without food. If I was sick and home alone he’d probably eat me.