Friends with very different spending habits. How do you manage it?

[StayceGerste]

Most of my close friends earn quite a bit more than I do, and it’s starting to show in how we socialise. Expensive meals, weekends away, spontaneous bookings that I have to think twice about.
They’re not unkind, but there’s definitely an assumption that everyone can just afford it. I don’t want to constantly say no or feel awkward explaining myself.

Open and honest communication as with most things

but it is hard on both sides and no one’s in the wrong

This is me with my 2 closest friends. It was a problem 20 years ago but isn’t now. I learned to be honest and be upfront when I can’t afford things, they also learned they can enjoy more simple pleasures. I’m still invited to expensive things if I want to go with them but it’s never an issue for me or them when I say no.

I've never really understood why people struggle so much to talk about money.
If I can't afford to do stuff, I will always just come out and say. Whether it's asking my friends to do something a little cheaper, or explaining to my kids why we can't go somewhere or do a particular thing.
Money has never been a taboo subject for me.

I think this is really common, especially as friendships drift into different income brackets. You’re not imagining it.
What’s helped me is being upfront but low-key about it, like “that sounds lovely but it’s not in my budget right now” rather than over-explaining. The right friends usually adjust once it’s clear. I also suggest alternatives I can afford so it’s not always a flat no.
If they never adapt and you’re always the one feeling awkward, that says more about the dynamic than about you. Friendships shouldn’t rely on everyone spending at the same level all the time.

I have a friend who will happily pay 150 for one person lunch. I could afford it , would sooner pay 50 for a decent meal, north so ok. I prefer to use my excess income to help two adult dc Friend has no children but gets me. She does the fancy stuff with others
Decent friends want you for your company and we are happy with a cheap weekday cinema tickets are a Netflix. Don’t feel bad ok
Might get slated on here , but I would not enjoy a very expensive meal
other rich friend has jewellery worth 50k
I helped my kids with deposits. I could not enjoy very expensive glitter and see my kids in grotty rentals . Each to her own