Can not attending meetings be a reasonable adjustment

[ThatCleverBird]

Does anyone else have this problem. I'm finding it really hard to concentrate and am asking too many questions then facing everyone being frustrated with me especially as the meetings are then taking too long - too much to talk about in a short time frame. I'll forget something someone told me years ago that they are mentioning out of the blue again. Usually it's like listening into a conversation from a foreign language and I've got little to no idea what anyone is talking about or referring to and it all moves on too quickly so I'll get details about topics confused. I can hear in the tone i'm spoke to that everyone is frustrated with me as they've always got to explain something to me or because I don't understand details about a subject that I know next to nothing about.
It's much easier for everyone involved to send emails.

Do you have a disability? Reasonable adjustments are given for people with disabilities.

Teams meetings or F2F ?

if teams: ask to record and use AI to summarise key points at the end

Are there minutes of the meetings you could read instead or would this records have to be made for you?
Are you needed at the meetings?

Do you have a disability?
Are the meetings an integral part of your job?

Are meeting minutes taken already?

could you just not ask your questions and instead write them down, then pop them in a single email after the meeting, if you think emails would be better anyway?

You can’t put your colleagues to the time and trouble of preparing long emails when the most efficient approach (for them) is to discuss everything in a meeting. If you have trouble concentrating in meetings then recording and getting an AI summery is a good idea. Or can a junior person be tasked with preparing an action list after the meeting of whatever has been agreed?

Also, are you taking notes yourself? I find I’m much more likely to lose concentration in a meeting if I’m not taking notes, as that requires me to think actively about what is being said. And of course you need to take the obvious steps in not looking at your phone or laptop
mid-meeting as that will
distract you.

Yes I'm disabled and the meetings are very chatty everyone gets a chance to speak, if I don't ask questions as people are speaking I wont follow the conversation or know what to ask at the end. I am so fatigued and tired I genuinely can't concentrate

Well it can be but at the risk of stating the obvious, reasonable adjustments do have to be reasonable. They can say no with a good business reason. Asking for meeting notes in advance or afterwards, or asking for coaching/mentoring, or asking for use transcription/meeting notes taking software might be other angles you can explore. Software that writes minutes of meetings can be quite good now. Try to think of ideas that are easy for them to implement as they will be more likely to pass the test of being reasonable.

Reasonable adjustsments are just that…they have to be reasonable ……so I attend meetings via teams due to my disability…although I take an active part…if you are not able to fulfil your job role because of your disability then management will look at capability

You could ask for fewer meetings in one day, depending on your role, I think that could possibly be a reasonable adjustment. Requiring notes from the meeting, AI or otherwise is also reasonable.

No meetings at all, again depending on your role, is more questionable.

@ThatCleverBird If you have a disability involving processing then rather than not attending the meetings ask to record them. In the meetings write down your questions as they arise rather than asking them.

After the meeting, either listen to the recording or if you find emails/written text easier to comprehend use AI to convert the recording to written text which you can then read. Cross check the questions you have to see if the text of the meeting answers them. If not ask your manager the questions.

Yes it will take time but if meetings are a specific issue for you this might be a suitable reasonable adjustment.

they have a rule that it cant be recorded as some members dont want to be recorded so I havent bothered asking

What is your role within the meetings?

It depends on your role. I couldn’t do my job without attending meetings - this week that has included client meetings to answer their questions about my area of expertise, team meetings where we understand what work the team has on and feedback on things that have happened recently that I chair (this could be done via email but is specifically an in person meeting as a response to feedback that the team felt disconnected after Covid), a meeting where I had to take information in and make decisions about our AI strategy (that needed a decision that day and required input from various parts of the business on different aspects and so needed to be a meeting), and a sub team catch up on client work we have on to agree next actions, again with everyone inputting and sharing the work out.

If I asked for a pass for any reason I’d be told I couldn’t do the job I was hired for and reasonably dismissed.

But I work with people whose roles at meetings aren’t critical and could easily opt out.

So it depends.

That sounds exhausting and draining how do you carry on

Is it just meetings you are struggling with? You seem to be implying colleagues are getting frustrated with you so are you finding all of your role too much? What is your purpose in the meeting, if you don’t actually need to be there then don’t go, but if it’s fundamental to your role then this is going to be difficult. Look up your companies policy on reasonable adjustments and speak to your manager. Many meetings I attend can’t be recorded for security reasons so that is not always going to be a solution. Plus do you have the time to rewatch meetings you’ve already attended?

Do you need to follow what’s going on? Like can you just let them chat and stay quiet and leave and then wait for meeting minutes with action points?
I’m not clear if you’re suggesting they meet without you and then send you an email. In which case it sounds like you could just stay quiet in the meeting and you don’t need to talk or ask questions. Or if you mean no one should have meetings and everything should be email, in which case I don’t really think that’ll be a reasonable adjustment because that might be more difficult for other people.

is this a new issue though? Could something else be going on that’s making you so fatigued if this is new? Could you get some sick leave to recoup?

Have you posted something similar before? If you are the person who posted about feeling self conscious about saying the wrong things in meetings and struggling to follow them, did you try any of the tips in that thread?

Reasonable adjustments arent just about disabilities but they need to take into account your actual job.

If you looked at it objectively, are the meetings needed? What is your role in them? Do you need to be at the meetings?

Do they have strict times and do they finish on time? Are they a reasonable length?

Is there an agenda?

Do you have breaks for longer meetings?

If you need to be at the meetings, then agendas and keeping them as short as possible or with breaks will probably help.

What do you want to happen? What would "solve" this for you and let you do your job effectively?

I have autism and adhd and struggle with meetings but I still need to attend them. I have an adjustment in place where I am sent the agenda for the meeting at least 24 hours ahead so that I am prepared for what is going to be discussed and can ask questions ahead of time if there are points I need clarifying. I print the agenda and have it in front of me during the meeting. I also take notes in the meeting if I have lots of questions and will meet with my line manager after the meeting to discuss if needed. These sort of adjustments definitely help me as not attending any meetings wouldn’t be reasonable in my job.

What information is available in advance? Do you know what is likely to come up , so can you ask to be briefed on anything new or background beforehand. Do you make notes to review ahead next time and prepare your input and questions You do not have to engage in chitchat.

What is your disability? If you give us a bit more information people might be able to give you specific strategies.

What are the meetings? Are there some you find easier than others?

Might be a stupid question but are you organised?

My memory is shocking and sometimes I find it difficult to follow conversations or stay focussed particularly if I dont quite understand what they are talking about.

When a meeting is coming up I look at the agenda or think about what it is. If I dont know, Ill ask someone before the meeting. I will take notes during that discussion.

I will review the previous minutes/notes to remind myself.

Using those I'll write some notes/promts/questions to take into the meeting.

During the meeting I write more notes, questions and actions eg if someone mentions a report, Ill write an action for myself to look it up or if someone says sonething I dont understand I'll make a note to ask them. I'll also write any thoughts even if I dont plan to raise them in the neeting. If I do raise something or have a question, I will apways write down the answer.

After the meeting, Ill tidy up my notes/actions ASAP. If I dont do it within 24hrs I wont have a clue what they mean.

As I think of things outside the meeting, I'll add them to my notes.

Before the next meeting, Ill review my notes and actions as well as any formal minutes etc. This will remind me of the key points and also help me to identify if things have changed since the last meeting.

I can't keep things in my head so I have lots of notebooks that I try to keep organised. So when something comes up and I cant remember it, I can look it up.

The more you do this, the more key things "stick". Or you at least know where to find them so you dont have to keep asking the same questions.

Obviously, you'll need to adapt it slightly depending on the meeting. A daily team meeting doesnt always need the same depth as a monthly shareholder one.

If I'm struggling to focus in a meeting, I write notes. I might not always understand what they are saying but it makes me pay attention and not day dream.

What do you need to help you feel more in control?

What’s your role, OP? Nature of your disability?

What is the actual purpose of these meetings, and why do you need to be there? They sound like an utter shambles, and that the Chair is not doing their job properly. Meetings aren't supposed to be 'chatty' with people interrupting all the time and derailing the matter in hand. The Chair should be directing the whole thing efficiently, and giving everyone their own time to speak.

Even if people don't want to be recorded, written minutes should be taken so that everyone gets sent a copy afterwards. You all then know what was discussed and agreed, what action needs to be taken, and by whom. The minutes are then referred to again at the start of the next meeting. You should be able to ask for any matters arising from the previous meeting to be added to the agenda for the next one.

If none of that is happening and it is a free-for-all, then it is just a waste of everybody's time.

It is a bit - but I look at my pay slip at the end of the month and feel much better about life (it’s a very well paid role).