Is anyone feeling just tired of life?

[GreaterF]

Im early 40s and looking back at life, it's been one big long slog of sustained trauma, heartbreak and struggle and pain that I could never have imagined, interspersed with sprinkles of genuine true joy.

I sound like I'm depressed but I'm truly not. I have so much to be grateful for but by god, just living has been utterly exhausting. It has ground me down.

Somewhere along the way, Ive lost youth"s intensity of hope, its energy, its determination,its curiosity, its hunger of what might be. Life has failed to meet even my modest expectations.

I've become hardened, jaded and resigned to the fact that this is just how it is, and brace myself for the next inevitable curve ball that comes my way.

I think being in your forties is tough. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of my excitement about life over the last few years. I do think that comes back though, I once read that people’s wellbeing very often dips at our age but then people start to feel better the older they get.

Sounds similar to my last year, widowed and then a cancer diagnosis. Life before a good marriage was similar to your description.

just got good results on my cancer, and decided im doing fun stuff for me this year.

I found being in my 30s quite difficult. Young children, money was a bit tight etc. My 40s were OK though. However, I'm now in my mid 50s and I'm finding them a bit of a slog. I'm now divorced and with a new partner which has developed into quite a fractious relationship. Not ideal. I also would like to give up work but can't just yet. There are pluses though, my daughter is now married and happy and I have some really good friends. I find that the positives of life come from friends and family these days. Life will continue to be difficult, no doubt and I shall continue making bad choices but I am grateful for the people in my life.