Feeling weird about SM nosiness

[MissHelenSweetstory]

My personal SM is private and locked down but my work SM (LinkedIn) is public as I work in recruitment and use it for advertising vacancies. I have over 1000 followers (usual for recruiters) but obviously I don't know most of them. I get loads of notifications and always look through them to see if there is anyone I should be connecting with or any posts I should be engaging with.

So, when I came back to work after the break I had a lot of notifications, so went through them all and had a look to see who had viewed my profile. It's usually a good indication of serious applicants. There in the most recent views were my DP's exW and a long term ex who I went out with when I was at uni 30 years ago. I feel really shaken up and I want to close my profile down! (But of course I can't because I need it for work). This is my professional space and I feel quite detached from it usually but I now feel really uncomfortable (for different reasons!) that they have been thinking of me enough to want to look me up. And surely they must know that I would have been notified??

I don't know what to do. I mean, I can block them of course but it doesn't change the fact that I now know that they've been snooping on me. WWYD?

It’s quite normal to take a peek at someone’s social media from time to time, particularly over the holidays when people are likely to have more free time so start thinking about others that they wouldn’t normally think about. I certainly do. I would think it quite odd if you’ve never done it.

So what would I do? Absolutely nothing.

Do nothing, it is your work window to the world, and anyone can view. You could turn off the tool in linkedin to stop you seeing who has viewed if it makes you feel better, but it is probably a tool that is helpful to you 99% of the time, so just accept that you cannot control who is viewing something in the public domain. Of course it might (and has) made you feel slightly odd if people you once knew had a look at it for not the reason you put it out there (and by the way, they probably don't realise that you can see this) but loads of people do it, and there is nothing to stop them. I have done that "oh I wonder whatever happened to XYZ from years ago" when I was suddenly reminded of them, and been glad to see them with their updates. I am sure it is nothing sinister, nor them "snooping on you", just a bit of curiosity about times gone by or even a link that is suggested by LI based on networks, which happens more than you think. Put it out of your mind, but keep your private SNs private.

You are overreacting, being on linked in is no different than taking out an advertisement in the papers providing the same information. There is no expectation of privacy.

I snoop on people I knew decades ago. It’s more a reflection on me as a sad lonely loser than it is on what they mean to me.

Having a quick look to see what people you used to know years ago are doing on LinkedIn is very normal behaviour.

Very normal to do that, to see what people are up to.

I googled an ex from 30 years ago to see he'd been sent to prison for coercive control recently. So that was a bit of a shock. But usually you just see what they are doing, how their life is now. It's normal to be curious surely?

Thanks for your responses. Yes, it is usual to snoop on SM and I've done it myself (many times!).

Having slept on it and reflected I realise that the problem I have is with my ex looking at my profile. He was my first love. We had a volatile relationship. I was young and inexperienced, and he messed me around no end - he frequently cheated on me, and he would cause arguments so he could cancel our plans so he could go out with his mates. I ended up with terrible anxiety because of it which I still live with today. I thought he would have forgotten all about me but the fact that he has looked me up 30 years later has made me feel so uneasy. He would know that I would get notified that he had looked me up. It's opened a lot of old wounds.

Tbf I get a lot of suggested people on LinkedIn, some i know some i dont. We might share a university or work place or a connection in common, and the algorithms suggest I add them.

So maybe they didn't actively look you up, but when they saw your name they took the opportunity to nose?