Can I fix my singing voice in a week?

[GarlicSound]

I'm going to need to sing a hymn in a very small group, so just mumbling the last word of every verse won't do. I've been chain-smoking for 50 years and it's about as long since I actually sang anything in tune. Or while sober, for that matter!

My voice is cracked, I have COPD and every time I try it, I sound like a comedy. I don't remember Father Ted singing, but I imagine he'd sound just like me!

Do you know of any way to get myself in condition to hold a simple tune for 2 minutes?? No, I'm not going to stop smoking ...

It's an important family occasion. Not many people, just immediate family. None of us are keen singers, we're all going to have to make the effort! There are vocals on the backing track, but it doesn't make up for nobody singing irl.

eta: The person at the centre of the occasion does sing. It matters to them. I mean, they'd probably be appreciative if I give it a go Father Ted style, but I'd prefer to actually sing the bugger if at all possible.

Vocalzone.

Steamy singy showers: good idea, thanks!

Nebuliser

Ooh, never heard of them! Have ordered some.

Would you be up for getting a one off lesson from a singing teacher? They might be able to show you how to do the best with what you’ve got?

I've got a nebuliser! I'm in for a steamy week.

Either stick to singing oohs and aahs.
Or do a Bonnie Tyler and embraced your gravelly tones.

No money and probably no teachers, sadly. I live at Nowhere.

Online singing exercises, vocalzone will help and they also do a tea.

Is your problem with the sound of your voice being scratchy from lack of use, or with being tonedeaf?

If the former, look up vocal exercises on Youtube. if I can find the ones I used I will link them. I used them before singing for a day with a choir on the streets to fundraise, and they certainly helped 'produce' my voice better.

Yes agree with all this! A Vocalzone lozenge will help. Warm up your voice properly before practising and on the day you're performing it - YouTube has warm ups with scales, lip trills, making different sounds and so on. A warmed up voice makes all the difference. Singing into a straw is also a great warmup - it sounds mad but really works without straining the voice.

Avoid dairy before singing it you can as it can produce more mucus. It'll be fine especially if you're singing with others.

Practise the words - enunciate all the consonants really clearly at the right time. Most amateur singers don't do that enough.

And smile.

Another vote for Vocalzone, they do work wonders; and also as much breathing exercise (check YouTube, there must be plenty of advice there) as your COPD will allow you to do. This should give you a bit of control over your wobbliness and make you sound a bit stronger and more consistent, as long as you don’t wear out the capacity you have just before you perform. But it is possible to see results quite fast with the breathing training - I had to do it after a collapsed lung and was certainly breathing more deeply and consistently within a week.

Not tone deaf (was in choir half a century ago). Scratchy's an understatement!

THANK YOU SO MUCH, everyone 💜 Having ordered all of Vocalzone and a bottle of Benylin for good measure and fished out the nebuliser, I'm beginning to think it might be possible. Just need to find some online training ... god help the neighbours 😂

Let us know how you get on!

Keep practicing, a little bit every day. Don't forget about your breath control, it's half the battle with singing. Breath in from the diaphragm rather than the lungs, practice letting the air out to a steady note in as controlled a way as you can. Then while singing warm up exercises (e.g. arpeggios). Don't take Strepsils, they numb the vocal chords, but Vocalzone are good.

Singing needs practice, practice, practice. Highly recommend Vocal Warmups with Kathleen (here). Good luck!

Just sing along with the Youtube stuff, preferably without a 13 year old falling about laughing as you make (intentionally) weird lip-vibrating sounds.

Deep breaths whilst singing. It will support the sound and stop it sounding thin.

Sing little and often between now and the performance. Everyday. Several times a day of you can. Not just this song, but anything you love and enjoy. A performance by a less than perfect singer who is enjoying themselves and connected emotionally to the song is much nicer to watch than a bored perfect singer. Think about your enjoyment and radiating positive energy, that's what audiences engage with. If you're embarrassed, those watching will cringe with you. If you're happy, confidant and comfortable, you'll be a joy to watch. Practice your diction and smiles to 120%, so then your nerves will bring you to the 100% you actually want for the performance. Go for it!