Is my nearly 2 year old delayed ? I think so

[pandowo]

She is 2 next month.

Rarely answers to her name.

Can make eye contact but not often, she seems shy, will bury her head or cover her eyes.

Doesn’t point or lead us to what she wants.

Most the time if you put her food in front of her, she needs prompting to eat it, so you will have to put something in her hand before she will start eating.

Not talking (have heard her copy the odd word but mostly uses noises)

She is very very content, will sit their quiet as a mouse while her sister is tearing round the house.

Likes spinning around and wiggling her hands around

God writing all this down I know she is Autistic it’s fairly obvious, her older sibling was diagnosed asd age 4 and I strongly suspect I am Autistic too. My brother has learning difficulties and asd, my niece is autistic and my two nephews both have adhd. So there is lots of neuro divergence in the family. How do I get the health visitor to take it seriously ?

Was meant to add that she doesn’t seem to understand instructions, like give this to daddy etc
No pretend play either

DS1 was like this (spinning was his favourite thing - and he still gets flappy when he's watching something exciting on youtube and he's 15!)

At 2 he had few words, was very self-contained, couldn't feed himself (although he was at least interested in food sometimes - mainly babybel and icecream)

He has never pointed, still doesn't point, or even understand pointing (when I point at something he doesn't look where I'm pointing until I tell him to - again, he's 15!)

He's not autistic. He is dyspraxic. (he's been assessed for both) - and from when he did finally start talking, you couldn't shut him up (although watching old vids back, his speech wasn't as clear as it could be).

So I'd say don't jump the gun, she's only 2, and they all have different interests - sure, she could be ND in some way, but it's very young to know which flavour yet.

Edit - and yes, never any imaginative play here - and he still hates English/Arts and crafts - not a creative bone in his body :)

It does sound slightly delayed but She's 2 .
... there is a huge range at this age so I wouldn't jump the gun yet

My oldest said close to nothing at 2 I think she had mama dada and shoes and that was about it. Shes chatty as you like now.

I would practice talking to her and teaching what things are and "play" with narration and basic instructions and requests.

I have 1 cousin out 40 with autism he is in a residential home and fully and non verbal and I considered the risks of ND pre conception.
Given your circs and the sheer amount of ND in your family this is presumably something you considered and so it cant be a huge surprise or totally unexpected....especially as you have it yourself so know a normal life is possible for many.
Im in big tech most of the people I work with have autism or are ND.... they are all making 200-500k per year and seeming fairly happy

If you have developmental concerns, you must get this checked. Don't automatically attribute to undiagnosed Autism, start from the beginning.

Yes this sounds delayed

Yes she is likely delayed, and has some of the pointers to look out for autism at this age, but she is only 2 and things can change so quickly. Have you got her 2 year health visitor check coming up? And the ages and stages questionnaires?

Odd thought OP, but have you had her eyes checked? I'm wondering if some of these signs might be vision problems (from someone who also has lots of ND in the family).

definitely delayed and I agree about getting her eyes and ears checked
Important Milestones | Child Development - Child 1 to 5 years | Healthier Together

No we haven’t had her eyes checked, I know hearing will be the first thing they check as they did with my son before he was diagnosed.
I should’ve had the 2 year development check forms through by now thinking about it, so I’m going to follow that up tomorrow. Also I have had a look at them online and she really is behind on most things, her gross motor and fine motor skills are good but it’s more language and understanding. If I asked her to go and get her shoes, she would ignore me lol