I’ve got counselling tomorrow and I’m close to cancelling (TW sexual abuse)

[emanresuchange]

I’ve been seeing someone through my local rape crisis centre for about six weeks. She’s lovely, but admitted to her last time I saw her in writing that I was abused as a child.

I haven’t seen her since I handed her the writing (at the end of the session) and tonight I’m pacing the house at the thought of going. My appt’s after work tomorrow, and I don’t know if I can do this.

I’ve never told anyone, and don’t know if I can cope.

A lot of clients struggle with disclosure. The counsellor will have been told similar before and will also be familiar with how this may have affected you.

You’ve been incredibly brave in writing it down for her 💐. She will be experienced and I’m sure very used to this kind of situation (I’m a therapist too) and it’s completely up to you whether you tell her any more than you already have. It’s such a big step, and if that’s all you feel able to share at this point that’s ok. I would still go back.. you can absolutely let her know how hard today’s been. Thinking of you.

You’ve just done such a difficult thing. And it must have taken a huge amount of courage to have handed that to her. There’s no obligation for you to talk about it if you don’t want to. You can just tell her that you’re not ready and that you might feel differently later, but for now, you just need to deal with the fact that you’ve told someone. She’s a professional; she’s not going to want to traumatise you.

Or, you might get there and find that the floodgates open. See how you feel when you sit down.