Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Struggling with parents' political views

6 replies

RippleTV · 05/01/2026 17:33

Both in their 80s and both seem to have become stereotypically more right wing and nastier as they've aged. Dad in particular was a proper lefty when young. Both are now Farage fans, on the basis that the country can't afford benefits or immigrants.

We had a family gathering at the weekend and quite deliberately Dad started a conversation about Farage and the things he said at school (His view that everyone did it at the time, mine that what Farage did went beyond that).

I've learned to breathe deeply and ignore or BIL and I will have a seperate conversation while this is going on. DSis will argue back.

So, I wasn't paying full attention but somehow they got onto Boris and his antics during lockdown. Mum justifying it as something that really didn't matter, just drinks after work etc.

This was during a time when both Dsis and I were working in school and not allowed to have a coffee in the staff room and my DH was dying and in hospital for three months without any visitors at all. He was a completely changed man by the time I and his DC got to see him again. Parents naturally know all this and the toll it took on me.

I know lots of people thought the lockdown rules were ridiculous, but many of us has no option but to comply with the rules he set, at great personal cost.

To hear that awful time dismissed by my own mother has brought back the trauma. I know trauma is an over used word, but that is absolutely what I experienced during that time.

I usually pop round every few days and I really don't want to go.

OP posts:
ISeeYouHere · 05/01/2026 17:37

It depends on what you want going forward I suppose. Lots of people have views I don’t agree with but it doesn’t stop me speaking to them. Perhaps you could use your words to explain that listening to a different view is upsetting for you. Your parents are elderly, they’ve loved you and taken good care of you for all of your life and I wouldn’t turn my back on mine out of misplaced loyalty to any political party.

RippleTV · 05/01/2026 17:40

ISeeYouHere · 05/01/2026 17:37

It depends on what you want going forward I suppose. Lots of people have views I don’t agree with but it doesn’t stop me speaking to them. Perhaps you could use your words to explain that listening to a different view is upsetting for you. Your parents are elderly, they’ve loved you and taken good care of you for all of your life and I wouldn’t turn my back on mine out of misplaced loyalty to any political party.

No, and I haven't for a lifetime. This is specifically about dismissing my experience when DH was dying.

OP posts:
ISeeYouHere · 05/01/2026 17:44

That must have been very difficult for you and I’m genuinely sorry for your loss. Having already lost your husband though, is it really worth cutting off your relationship with your family over nonsense political chat or has family become even more important to you in the circumstances? Do you think they are deliberately trying to upset you or are just a bit out of touch and clueless?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

chisping · 05/01/2026 17:48

I'm very sorry for your loss.
It doesn't sound like you were part of the conversation and I do think you should let your parents know how upset you feel about their comments.
I really don't think it's worth falling out with your elderly parents over politics though. People have different views. Refuse to discuss or be drawn into it and change the subject.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 05/01/2026 17:51

I'm really sorry about your husband.

The thing is though, if we reversed, and it was a parent saying "my 20-something has got into radical left politics....they deliberately talk about Your Party....they support Palestine Action even though they know we have close Jewish friends ..." (or whatever).

You know people would be saying, they are adults, you need to respect their views, why does it hurt you to hear different views etc.

I think that cuts both ways tbh. And I am honestly not seeing where they dismissed your experience - were they not just talking about the rules generally?

Lightsandrainbows · 05/01/2026 17:58

Can you explain that they don’t have to agree politically but you find it really upsetting to discuss this particular thing due to how personal it is with dh so would they mind just not chatting about it around you.
it’s fine to have different opinions but we don’t have to voice them constantly. I do think people saying oh I don’t need the same political views to get on with people is all well and good but I don’t agree with some peoples politics or religions or life choices or a million other things and I don’t prattle on about my contrasting views in front of them, because it’s rude.

and if they aren’t bothered about upsetting you that’s a different issue.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page