how do I get through a week with visiting relative?

[birsk]

I’ve got my Aunt here from overseas. She’s late sixties but very extroverted, busy person. She’s visited some other relatives first. I’m the last one she sees before she flies back to Canada at the weekend. So I’ve got her for a full week. I explained that I’d be pretty broke after christmas and she said that was fine, but since she arrived yesterday she’s been asking what the plans are!

Im working two days, so that helps. I explained that we could maybe do some local things, shopping in our local lovely big city which has loads of history. And walks locally and pub lunches etc, visiting some local villages/towns. We’ve woken up to snow which will melt soon hopefully as I hate driving in it.

She’s only been here a day and my social battery is flat already! How the hell can I cope till the weekend?
I’ve got a teenager and adult child living at home.

I get the strong sense she wants to be entertained and wants a schedule.

I’m having to think about what we’ll have for meals all week too which is pretty stressful. Relative has no children and is great at doing what she wants when she wants it. How do I make this week work? Why did I agree to this?

I get the strong sense she wants to be entertained and wants a schedule

Not your problem. She can find her own entertainment.

Have a look on Groupon for local attractions or spa days, meal deals etc
Do some national trust things, take picnics and buy a coffee etc there, local things or doing some longer drives to lovely castles/properties etc is quite nice

If she was invited/welcomed then it’s not unreasonable of her to expect that bit of time and effort that most of us would give to a visitor, but expecting you to fill her days for her whole stay is a bit cheeky.

Was she invited or did she invite herself?

she invited herself, asked if she could come

local town - walk the high street? Is there a Cathedral/castle near you?

And you said yes, so you must have thought a bit about what you would do with her while she's here?

I’m happy to take her out to local big historic city, out for the odd meal here and there even though I can’t afford it. I just figured we’d be going out locally, rather than day trips and excursions. She also doesn’t want to go out in the cold. We’ve got a dog so dog walks can fill time, but it’s too cold for her apparently.

well yes but I thought she was mostly here to just see me and she knows I work, have a smaller budget than her.

So if it’s too cold then how does she expect to go anywhere? I mean if she’s from Canada she’ll be used to much colder weather than here!
When you agreed you should have put expectations in place, but you can still do that now: Martha I’m working two days this week and I’m skint. We can do a day out at X city and a visit to X village and a pub lunch. But a couple days will be at home for me catching up on household things - I can drop you at the station if you want to go further afield, or you can just potter around here. I need to walk Brutus every morning if you’d like to join?
No sympathy with the meal planning - don’t you normally do that?

she thinks it’s cold in our house. We’ve already increased it to 21. I really feel the cold and it’s fine. Streets are like a skating rink here today too as it’s snowed overnight so that will be fun.

my fault re the Canada thing. I’ve changed a few details to preserve anonymity. She’s from a much warmer place!

she’s now giving me tips on reversing an irreversible lifelong condition that my son has: with holistic natural medicine. This will be a long week.

Blimey, I couldn’t envisage having someone to stay in my house for that long unless they were in dire need!
Just reaffirm that you’re working and you’re skint and if she wants to do anything much more than the city visit etc then you’re happy to drop her off at the station.
Anything else isn’t your worry and after all, she invited herself!

Is there somewhere she could go & visit whilst you're working? Preferably staying elsewhere overnight.

Any pay what you can walking tours in your city?

I thought because she’d already spent weeks elsewhere over xmas doing busy things, she’d just want to chill.
Nope!

. I explained that I’d be pretty broke after christmas and she said that was fine, but since she arrived yesterday she’s been asking what the plans are!

Well, you need to say it again.

X, as I said-I'm flat broke and still need to work, so I just can't make too many plans. Let’s do x on Tuesday and y on Friday. Do you want to borrow the laptop to look at what you fancy doing to occupy yourself in the meantime?

If she has invited herself to stay, she needs to be more proactive.