Brushing long hair painlessly, how?!

[LittlePotteryBird]

I have a 3 year old granddaughter whose hair I have to brush and style regularly and I find the whole process so stressful! I only had boys so have no experience with long hair but I do have bad memories of my own grandmother inadvertently hurting me when she brushed the knots out of my hair so I want to try to do better.

We have a tangle teaser brush (the kind that sits in your palm without a handle), Child’s Farm detangling spray, and a very wide toothed comb. I use soft hair ties but they still get tangled and cause pain on removal, as do some hair clips. I try to hold the hair when I brush it to stop it pulling on the scalp.

Please give me your tips for painless stress-free hair styling, or easy hairstyles that look good.

Have you tried keeping her hair in plaits to stop it tangling? There are lots of nice plaited and French plaited styles, look online for inspiration/tutorials.

Tangle Tamer is better than Tangle Teaser.

brush real slow, start at the bottom, hold the hair above a tangle so you can gently tease it out

if you do use hair tie, keep it loose so you can hold above the hair tie when removing it - not tight to her head

Brush from the ends first and work up the shaft. Do sections at a time. My DDS understand this means a longer brushing session but no hair pulling.

Go slow on the hair around the nape if the neck.

Yes to plaits vs loose hair to minimise tangles.

Regular trims to get it a similar length and condition as at 3 yo the hair is still transitioning to being thicker.

I avoided clips as they get stuck or break fine hair.

A lot of people go wrong by starting at the top (ie the crown of the head) and then brushing down to the bottom, which sort of pushes any small tangles/snarls down the hair and makes them much worse and the brush sticks on them and pulls.

You’re better off holding the hair with one hand so that it can’t pull on her scalp, then brushing the very bottom ends of her hair. Once those ends are tangle free, move your hand higher up and then brush the slightly higher section of hair down to the bottom.

So work your way up from the bottom to the top.

Also definitely try brushing it damp (use a spray bottle of water). Start with the wide toothed comb then move on to the brush.

Will definitely help if you can keep it plaited overnight and for energetic play as well.

Start at the bottom, clear the tangles then move up a section.

Encourage the child's parents to have it cut to a bob. Looks nicer anyway.

As you are asking for help here are my tips in no particular order. Some are quite basic but you’ve asked for help so please don’t take any offence or think I’m being patronising.

buy lots of spare bobbles and just snip them to remove them if they don’t come out easily. Also try taking a single twist only before you try to slide the bobble down. Just makes it a bit looser. no point hurting a kid for the sake of a hair bobble. Try different types of bobbles too.

Try different tangle sprays
some might be slippier than others
on her particular hair. Spray it with some water to help make it slippier too. Get a mister bottle.

brush it with conditioner in when in the bath.

start brushing right from the bottom and split the hair in to three sections (like the bits from a plait) and work through one section at time.

brush in the morning and at night. and plait before bed to help reduce overnight tangles.

give her the brush and try to get her to brush any hard tangles out. She’ll know how hard to brush.

Also here to say start at the bottom, then you aren’t dragging hair and pulling at tangles.

Watching for tips. We cut DD's hair as she hated having it brushed.

She is usually OK having it brushed (with conditioner and a tangle teaser) in the bath which helps with tangles.

Since cutting it, we've implemented a three step up/bed routine- this is the way you clean your teeth/wash your face/brush your hair. We are using a soft bristle baby brush and getting her to do it. No tangles yet but they'll come!

Thank you so much for all your tips! Brushing from the bottom and spraying with water are ones that I know about but had forgotten so thanks. Unfortunately I can’t imagine her sitting still long enough for me to plait it, and also I’m not good with my hands.

I do think a shorter hairstyle would be more practical, and I hope her parents decide so too!

You just have to take your time. Work on small sections at a time, start at the bottom. Loads of conditioner when washing. Also used a leave in conditioner rather than tangle spray.
We found this brush much better than any other brushes we tried.

https://amzn.eu/d/6A2fDw5

Any reason the parents aren't doing the hair? Is it really fine but long?

Best way we found was after a bath, spray conditioner and tangle teaser then straight into plaits. Silk pillowcase also helps.

DD likes to have her hair in half dutch braids a lot of the time. It means that I just need to brush out the ends and it doesnt get very tangled. I'm not great at halr at all but can just about manage it!

If you’re not great with your hands and don’t want to plait, you can also cut down on tangles by doing a low ponytail, but putting bobbles around the tail every 5-10 cm, so it’s all held in place.

If you find plaits difficult you could try a twist plait. Basically to take two sections of hair and tightly twist them both in the same direction. Then put a bobble on the bottom (holding both sections together) and let go. They will then twist themselves together. This vid might explain it better.
https://share.google/CDnOSGeaFKrklPzqf

as well as brushing from the bottom and spraying. Ideally brush it when it’s being washed and when you have the shampoo and conditioner on (so twice during tbd hair wash) and then again once out of the water but still wet.

its much easier and less damaging to the hair.

also the hair detangle spray isn’t needed. Just fill a small spray bottle with 1/4 conditioner and 3/4 water and shake. Works just as well if not better.

This. Dd has autism with significant sensory issues, we found this and never looked back. We have approx seven of them located throughout the house 😁

edit - says my images are under review - it’s the pink Denman tangle tamer mini.

Identical!!!

My dd has ADHD. Tangle teaser crap. Tangle tamer amazing.
Just like you we had 7 all over the house.