When life feels packed to the edges

[HernanBrooke]

I’ve been noticing that my days feel “full” in a way that doesn’t quite match the calendar. There aren’t many events or commitments, but somehow my brain feels booked up like every hour has a mental appointment.
It’s odd because I can’t point to the thing that’s taking up the most space. It’s more like lots of little tabs open, none of them dramatic enough to close everything down, but together they make it hard to think straight.
I keep wondering if this is just part of getting older or if I’m subconsciously carrying things I haven’t named yet.

I remember my elderly father saying that he liked it if the week ahead on the calendar had nothing on it. If there was even one thing he had to do it gave him anxiety, and I’ve started to feel that way now, I resent ‘having’ to do anything.

I feel the same and I love the description of lots of little tabs open.

My bugbear is tasks with multiple aspects to them so I advance but can never cross them off my list despite having spent time on them.

I also have a lot of things that have crept up on me and take time without me realising (I've gone from working to 8 hours a week to 30 since September. But it was gradual and I work from home so I've not mentally assigned the time to it iyswim and keep berating myself for not doing more exercise or housework...).

The secret is to externalise it. Have you tried bullet journalling?

I use physical lists with dates to do things by. Tasks are itemised and broken down to the smallest components (also dated) which are ticked off when completed. I have this on my phone and it pings me to remind me when I need to do things.

It has really helped with creating headspace. I have also taken up meditation.

I feel like this too. I used to be much busier and didn’t feel this way.

Try not to think about everything as an appointment, some of it is just life. Ie change beds, mow lawn, supermarket. If you were to write all that down it would overwhelm.

Also there are no medals. So, give up things that become a chore: PTA, running club etc

For household type stuff I do a short running list starting with 3 items then as I tick one off, I add one on the end. It stops it being a never ending list and means there are more ticks than to dos.

I also keep a bullet journal note book that has lists for things lile Christmas or packing for holidays (especially camping gear) so I don't have to think from scratch each year.

Yes — exactly that. Things you make progress on but can’t ever properly cross off are the worst for my headspace. It feels like they’re constantly humming away in the background even when you’ve already spent time on them.
And I really relate to the gradual creep of time being taken up without you quite clocking it. When it happens slowly it’s easy to keep telling yourself you should be doing more, without recognising that your capacity has already shifted. I’m trying (not always successfully) to be a bit kinder to myself about that.