Birthday parties only ever held at hone

[Una22]

Just wanted to know if anyone has ever just thrown their kids birthday parties at home? I have asked my child if he wanted a birthday party every year since starting school however his reply is usually yes but that he only wants 3 or 4 friends there. Everything that only caters for a small guest count he never wants to do so ive always done a party at home which he was happy with. Just feel a tad guilty hes not had parties like his friends, however ive always done what he's wanted. If hes ever wanted a typical venue, usually the guest count for a party he did like was a min of 10 so instead ive taken the friends he wants instead of booking a party, however its not exactly been a birthday party. Just hope hes not missed out :/

Don’t question yourself. You are doing exactly what your ds wants. Much better than hosting a party he won’t enjoy just to follow suit.

I know just feel bad as he would have loved a party somewhere different but everything he likes theirs always a min guest count so it wouldn't be cost effective paying for a party for ten children but only having 3 or other children there

Mine was always very happy to take 2-3 friends to LaserQuest/ Ice skating/ Karts and then go to eat at somewhere he chose rather than a party at a venue as they got to do more

You could take them some where for a none party package, cinema, soft play, trampoline park. There are lots of options that aren’t just being at home.

Thats what I usually do, if he wants to go any specific but he only wants a few friends i take him but he just misses out on the party perspective

My 4 have only ever had parties at home . They never felt hard done by .

But if you take them for food either there or some where else, have a cake and sing happy birthday and give out party bags he isn’t missing out on anything.

It isn’t really a party with so few people though, is it? I know that sounds like I’m being pedantic and that’s not the intention, just wondering if he wants a party or he wants a couple of friends over?

The main issue I can see is that he’s limiting his friendships quite a bit. To be honest, while I appreciate things are different at nine, I included the whole (admittedly small) class when ds had his party recently. I don’t want anybody left out and I also don’t want ds left out which is inevitably what happens if you don’t invite others, in turn you’re often not invited.

Yes it is a party and decades ago that would be the norm

I'd be ok with that especially if that's what ds wants. My dc doesn't want a party this year for their birthday at all. Not even a friend to play round. It's next week too and even now they're adamant no party. Just want to go out for food.
I do feel a bit sad but it's dcs choice. Plus saves spending loads of money on a party that they don't want. Last years soft play party was £500+ by time we paid hire and food. I did cake and party bags.

What, three children? Honestly I don’t think it would be. I was born in 1980; I grew up with parties at home: your best party dress, musical statues and pass the parcel and a homemade cake. No issues with a home party at all, but this isn’t a party, it’s a couple of your friends coming over to play!

My son is autistic so I believe he probably wants the party to feel normall as he struggled at times bless him. Thank you all for feedback

Some years my DC have only wanted 3 or 4 friends for their parties. An official party at the trampoline park/ laser quest/ wherever needs at least 10, but I just pay for DC and friends to go in and buy them food in the cafe there and that’s ok. It’s still a party, and importantly it’s the party my ND DC have wanted that’s manageable for them even if it’s not the same as other people’s parties. Don’t feel guilty for doing what your DS wants.

Youre doing exactly what is right for your son and not shelling out loads for no reason. When he’s older if he has more guests he can do something else. You sound like a lovely mum who is overworrying. Most kids dont have parties every year and many none at all.

Well then this is an even better reason to keep doing what he’s doing! Remember that it’s probably you wanting all these ‘normal’ things.

Some really lovely comments on here thank you xxx

He sounds like he is very atuned to doing what he needs and what he enjoys rather than just doing some thing because it’s a social expectation. This is a really good protective factor for his mental
health and you should continue to keep encouraging him to it.

Of course. All of my DC had parties at home throughout their childhood. I’m a primary school teacher so organising a 2 hour party was pretty easy.

We did do a garden party one year because of COVID. Summer 2020, I think.