How can I feel more happy and in control?

[Carringtoncorby]

I feel so tearful and anxious. Been like this for about two months now.

I'm wondering how I can feel less overwhelmed.

These are the contributing factors:
I'm 50 and menopausal. Not currently on HRT
Youngest DS is in Y13, so it's A Level worries. I'm also very worried about him going away from home to university in September, as he's very shy and doesn't make friends easily. He can often be very moody and difficult at home.
DH and I are about to divorce. It's been on the cards for a while and it's all amicable. Will be strange buying a house/flat and living on my own for the first time though, as DC will all be at university most of the time
Elderly mother has had two strokes and isn't always comfortable or compus mentus. Father is in denial and useless.
Very stressful job that takes about 50 hours per week.
Almost £6,000 credit card debt in my name, which makes me feel sick. DH has similar.
I look awful lately - big eye bags and crepey neck etc. Makes me feel worse.
The house is a mess and I can't summon the energy to tackle it properly

Everything sets me off crying - important things like Gaza, through to silly songs. I just feel overwhelmed and out of control.

Does anyone have advice please? In the past I've been prescribed a range of different antidepressants, but always felt better off them.

Bumpity bump

Well I would start taking HRT tbh.

Focus on what you change. The house - getting it ready for sale, reducing debt. It sounds that is something you and your H need to look at together and have a strategy.

That sounds like such a lot to be dealing with at once, no wonder you feel so overwhelmed. First - give yourself a break, be kind to yourself.

then - can you sort your list into what you can and can’t control? And then of the things you can control what can you do about them.

on the what you can’t control list immediately what sticks out is your skin (can’t stop the aging unfortunately), your parents reactions and how your child fares at uni.

what you can control - finances, you might feel better if you sit down and make a plan for paying back that £6k or at least scrutinise your budget so it’s not increasing the debt. Work - anything you can do to make it less stressful?

You definitely have a lot going on, OP. If you can, I’d start with HRT, it made dealing with life much easier for me, especially after my gynaecologist added some testosterone. I started sleeping better almost immediately after starting on estradiol and stopped crying literally within days of introducing testosterone.
I’m 45.

good luck with all the upcoming changes, hopefully it’s a begging of a great chapter for you.

Wow. Thats a lot to be dealing with.
I would suggest a GP appointment. Tell them about the constant crying and ask if HRT would help.
Then allow yourself a six weeks holiday from tackling the debt and divorce and family issues etc. Just try to park it all while you focus on your own physical wellbeing.
After six weeks, it will be spring and you may be feeling better and more able to plan the details of the divorce.
Tell yourself that in two years you will be settled and happy in your own place and ready to enjoy the next chapter of your life. Good luck.