Is it moral for me to claim disability?

[QuietGarden3]

I’m autistic and was diagnosed as an adult. I’m really struggling to accept my diagnosis because I feel like some of my symptoms might be improved and the diagnosis is so common I’m not sure it’s real anymore or if it’s just my personality, an illness or the way I was raised or a combination of all those things. I’m verbal, not aggressive, and able to reflect on my difficulties. But I’ve experienced being ostracised, targeted, threatened, and have had problems at work. It feels like I’m in trouble almost every week. I have a very small number of friends who understand me well, and I often need someone to explain or defend my behaviour for me. I also experience severe bowel issues.

I was advised that I would need a lot of professional help to address my behaviours and reduce being a target, but that support doesn’t exist on the NHS. I’m wondering whether claiming might make some of that support accessible for me.

I am aware that this benefit is often associated with children with more severe autism, such as non-verbal children in nappies, but I’m wondering whether it’s morally right for adults like me to claim.

I suspect it is nonsense.

The criteria is the same regardless of what your diagnosis is. You don’t get awarded anything just for having a disability or health condition diagnosed, it’s about how it affects you and the impact on your independence and daily living. Two people could have the same diagnosis and one could qualify for PIP and the other could not.

My son got pip when he moved from DLA at 16 on his first try. In fact it was a uplift on his DLA. He has dyspraxia and a language disorder. The assessor was very good at picking up his needs over the phone

As a pp said OP the questions are perhaps not what you’d expect if you hadn’t thought about PIP much before but there’s only one form and it covers the areas mentioned- washing, dressing, cooking, managing finances, walking etc.

The questions seem to be aimed at someone with a physical disability.

PIP is less about a specific diagnosis than how the condition affects your every day life and ability to function. ideally you should seek support in completing the form and providing relevant evidence, from somewhere such as CAB or a autism support group.

If you feel you are being isolated and in trouble at work that is a separate issue. It may mean you lack self awareness, appropriate social behaviour and respect for others’ boundaries. Are you coping with the role? Do you have regular appraisals and feedback from your manager to help you understand what is not going well? Have you declared your diagnosis and requested adjustments? Therapy like CBT might help you address some of the concerns and in some areas you can self refer.

I do have reasonable adjustments already just hardly any just friends it’s hard to get on with anyone. I’m hard work and there’s always misunderstandings happening where I’ve accidentally offended someone or if someone thinks that I’m exaggerating or being unreasonable because I’m bothered by noise or smells

They are aimed at assessing functional ability. All 3 of my DDs have ASD (+/- other conditions) and all 3 get enhanced PIP for different reasons. They all got it on paper assessments without a face to face because they had so much evidence from professionals. They are all in specialist education, though, despite two of them being very 'able' academically.

You have to explain why you can't do something, or what makes it difficult. It's not enough to say 'I don't do well with people'. You have to say why you struggle with social interaction, what support you need, how often you need it, what happens if you don't get it, etc.

Physical ability isn't the only issue. DD3 can dress herself independently but she struggles with making decisions about what to wear and has a lot of sensory issues, so she still scores points.

Maybe you need to reframe your thinking about colleagues as just that rather than potential friends. Focus on being professional rather than expecting to be social. How do your social difficulties impact the interactions required in the role and efficiency? What adjustments do you have?

Agree with pp, as far as PIP is concerned you should think about the obstacles you face during your daily routine due to your conditions and the efforts or support required to overcome them. There are questions about your personal care and mobility, which can include ability to plan and carry out tasks and journeys.

Maybe you’re talking about another form because there’s no mention of whether or not you experienced sensory issues or other autism related problems on the form that someone posted before

It won’t ask that specifically it is up to you to include it , if relevant, in the response to the question. That is why you need someone to assist you in completing the form.

I don't think they are.

My daughter needs help with her bathing (her autism and MH issues mean she avoids bathing and would go without unless someone physically runs her a bath and encorages her to get in it - if you regularly shower/bath yourself you don't qualify)
Same for dressing herself. She needs to be told to get up and get dressed. If left to her own devices she wouldnt get to college, wouldn't get dressed, wouldn't eat. She needs assistance with all these things because of her autism and her other MH issues. Same with feeding herself, though that is more eating disorder related.

She gets mobility as she has to be driven everywhere. She wont get public transport or walk alone. She cannot learn to drive right now (may change?) She needs accompanying to all appointments.

If you have a good person hygiene routine, manage to get yourself to and from work, can feed yourself a basic meal, can talk to people at work and don't really need outside assistance from a carer you probably don't qualify.

There are people who work who get PIP but from my memory its usually people with more physical issues. If you are mentally unwell enough to qualify for PIP i think it would be difficult to work. Or perhaps if you are able to work it would be hard to convince PIP you are mentally unwell enough to claim.

It doesn’t seem like I can claim it is really unclear because I do have issues which are hard to manage but I can also work. So does that mean I would need to stop working to claim because then I would be worse off? It makes no sense.

You can get the form completed and be assessed. You need to consider what is required to enable you to work such as to prepare in the morning, travel, cope during the day at work etc. PIP is not a significant amount of money so you should not give up working.

The bar is high, but its for a reason. Its for people that are unable to care for themselves and need the extra support. If you are able to do all the things listed, you don't qualify.

And if you just stopped work to claim PIP there is no guarantee you would be awarded it anyway and PIP is absolutely not enough to replace a whole wage!

It may seem unfair but its not for 'anybody with a disability ' its for the people that have disabilities that affect them so badly they are unable to function in a normal way without support.
If you are doing that you don't meet the criteria for PIP even if you do have a diagnosis.

'Having issues that are hard to manage' and being unable to manage basic tasks are not the same thing. You have my sympathy as I can imagine you face extra issues in yourworkplace due to your ND but it doesn't mean you qualify for PIP.

You can always apply but its bloody tedious and demeaning and having a look at the descriptors will give you a good idea of what you might be awarded. If most of them are 0 points I honestly wouldn't bother.

You aren’t reeeally asking if you can claim pip. You’re asking whether or not you have a disability. Whether you’re really autistic. Or if you are autistic ‘enough’ to actually bring it to the world without being judged.

heres what I can tell you from your post. You’ve just been diagnosed. as an adult. You struggle to behave in acceptable ways and regularly get told you’re wrong for behaving and/or feeling the ways you do. Your behaviour is extreme enough you encounter negative reactions often. This isn’t a one off misunderstanding. You, I’m assuming, don’t do these behaviours on purpose to upset people or get people annoyed with you. You risk your livelihood with them yet the behaviours continue. with these assumptions I can make another assumption- that you’ve spent much of your life feeling wrong, outside, a failure, confused, being told you’re being dramatic, or attention seeking, or difficult when, to you, you’ve just been reacting to stimulus. Or some combination of those.

Now that doesn’t mean your actions can’t ever be ‘wrong’ or hurtful to another person… having someone freak out because you’ve put on the extractor fan while cooking (a personal overwhelm trigger for me!) must be very annoying and confusing for someone who doesn’t feel as if the noise is crawling inside their head through their ear.

or If you’re very blunt (hypothetical example), that can be hurtful to someone who has a well-developed social filter, even if you don’t mean to be hurtful at all.

You aren’t wrong and they aren’t necessarily wrong. You are reacting to the world in the ways and at the levels you feel are appropriate, and they are reacting to the world (your behaviours) in the way they feel is appropriate - which often results in shaming, criticising, questioning, blaming or asking you to change/why you can’t just change.

Your friends understand you, for whatever reason, so they make conscious allowances for your behaviours - they have an explanation…they ‘get’ why you behave in these ways therefore they aren’t as confused or hurt by them.

so no, you might not meet the markers for pip - I don’t know if you do or don’t - but that doesn’t mean you don’t need help, have workarounds, struggle, or have a disability. There isn’t a moral judgement to be made - you have a diagnosis - pip is just a practical one (with sloppy judging criteria). Like how someone who is blind in one eye will have certain needs but they might not be covered under pip to get help with them. Doesn’t mean they don’t struggle. Just means pip has set the cut off for accessing their help at a different
place. (And they make it hard. They aren’t gagging to give out money)

Hi OP, I would be very surprised if you got PIP. Its not an award to recognise your disability and the difficulties you face, it is more helpful to think of it as money to help cover additional costs due to your disability eg a cleaner for someone unable to cook for themselves or funds for taxis for someone who could not safely use public transport.

However what you are talking about is manifesting your disability in your workplace and facing negative consequences for that. This is covered by the equality act, disability is a protected characteristic and your employer must make 'reasonable adjustments' for you.

You've mentioned sensory issues, so they could provide you somewhere quiet to work even if the best they can do is the seat in the corner of the office furthest from the kitchen. You have communication difficulties so they may be able to give you the more single person projects if you wish, or agree all correspondence with you should be via email or face to face (depending what works for you) or at least recognise that when a colleague complains about you they should be supporting you to understand what isn't deemed acceptable and ask you colleagues to have a bit more patience.

Adjustments do have to be 'reasonable' though - other people have a right to chat at work and eat at their desk, you need to fulfil your duties and cannot be excused from an essential activity.

Anyway, you have a disability and you have rights. It sounds like your employer isn't recognising this so ask what can be done to get an assessment of reasonable adjustments.

They’re actually very specific criteria and not at all vague, it’s the same list for all conditions. How much do you score yourself for daily living and for mobility on the self test?

If you can prove that your sensory issues prevent you getting dressed into appropriate clothing, or washing alone and someone needs to help or prompt you to shower, then you get points. Similarly someone without arms will likely need help getting dressed and showering and they too will get points for that.

Answer the questions honestly and see how many points you get

This is why I don’t know how people work and claim PIP. You basically have to not be able to do your own personal care or make your own meals without help, yet you can still hold down a job.

I think you should contact the National Autistic Society to look for support options

This makes no sense as it doesn't go off diagnosis it goes off need .

No it goes off need ,the autism diagnosis doesn't guarantee an award its about wether you are essentially able to care for yourself, cook meals etc independently and navigate a journey from A to B independently if you are able to its unlikely you would be awarded ,if you need support in these ares and you hsve proof of thst mske an application.

Given that they are currently denying the high rate of DLA to non-verbal autistic children with learning disabilities, I think to be honest you’d be wasting your time. And also, to be honest I’d think you were incredibly grabby. I am autistic. Life is a bit harder, but it is what it is. My child is non-verbal, and functions at roughly toddler age. Our experiences of autism are not the same. PIP and DLA are not an infinite pot and it belongs to people like him, not people like me.