Guesses for when my DH will tell me he broke the drawer?

[EMDRtoBeHappy]

DH broke the drawer to our babies draws at 5am this morning. At the time it sounded like it was done in anger as he was annoyed at getting up as baby wouldn’t stay in their cot. There was 3 big bangs like someone trying to open it or slam a door.
Ive learnt not to ask about bangs so haven’t. It will be my fault it was too full anyway as the tidy folded has gone and it’s now shoved in over Christmas.
He’s watched some get stuff out of it. But for fun will I give in and ask or will he te me?

What happens if you ask about bangs? Why have you learned not to ask? Are you and your baby safe?

Well, if he broke it, he needs to fix it. 👍

Agreed the I don't ask about bangs is quite disconcerting.

Anger towards a baby is never good op.

Are you safe there? Living with an angry man isn't good for you or your baby. What happens if you ask about bangs?

That doesn’t really sound like “fun”…

He shouldn’t be banging things when annoyed.
He shouldn’t be annoyed at baby waking up at 5am. It’s a baby.
You shouldn’t be afraid of challenging him about his anger.
You shouldn’t be blamed for things that are his fault.

OP-just in case you need it..https://womensaid.org.uk/

Sounds like a man I’d actually want to be getting away from rather than wonder when he’s going to tell me about some drawers.

Thank you. Sometimes people write things down to ask about things. He tells me it’s normal to show your emotion and to be fair for years I encouraged him not to bottle stuff up. It’s just we disagree that throwing the bottle on the sofa to me is anger and him it’s ok.
He has depression and recently seems like two different people. He’s not violent to me or the baby or violent in the sense of smashing stuff up.

"He’s not violent to me or the baby or violent in the sense of smashing stuff up"
...except your baby's drawer?

I know

He genuinely didn’t know. I made it an issue this morning

I think you need to talk to each other. You can’t ignore each other’s emotions hoping they will go away. Unless there is a big backstory, I think a lot of people have slammed a drawer (or similar) too hard in frustration (or maybe it is just me?!), young children are tiring and hard-work. Many couples get snippy with each other. Do you know what each other are destructed about, is it just tiredness?

My goodness. “He’s not violent to me or the baby or violent in the sense of smashing stuff up”. But he broke the draw in anger. What a lovely household for your child to grow up in.

@EMDRtoBeHappyhave a read of that link I posted earlier. Just in case.

Yes this is not a funny story at all.

Ok but a person doesn’t need to have a lot if anger and physical overreaction to everyday frustration. That’s not the kind of emotion that needs to be encouraged to be expressed. A toddler doesn’t need to be encouraged to tantrum. They need help managing their emotions not exploding them on others.

You are treating him like a child whose tantrums are absurd but he can injure you or your baby. Read up on “Emotionally Immature Adults” and on abuse in relationships “why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft.

Protect yourself and your baby. No adult should be this volatile around a small child.

Op if there's any doubt throwing the bottle at you is not normal (to you at you i didn't understand but neither is ok) , he can say how he feels but why does dealing with the kids make him angry? Why does he need to show his emotions for every parenting duty? Don't blame depression. Sounds like he thinks looking after his own children is beneath him.

What a sad OP, not anything fun about it I'm afraid. Hope that you and your baby are safe and that you have a way to get out of this situation. Please call women's aid or similar.

That doesn't sound like a nice way to live.