If you're still breastfeeding an older baby....

[mrssteveharringtonthe1st]

...how many times a day do they feed? My 17 month old eats loads of solid, sleeps all night without a feed (and attends nursery 3 days a week where he goes all day without boob quite happily) and ideally I would only do a breastfeed morning and evening, but if I am with him he demands it constantly and I mean constantly. If I did "don't offer don't refuse" he would never be off the boob. I don't want to stop completely but him constantly whinging for it is driving me insane.

I recently stopped breastfeeding my just turned 2yo (their choice). By that age I was just doing a feed in morning and feed at night. If we were out the house they were distracted and never asked. I used to have a special bean bag chair I'd call the milk chair and when wanted milk would lead me to the chair. Try distraction and offer a snack or drink when they ask?

I went by 'if they're old enough to ask, they're too old.' My third and fourth I bottle fed as I hated breastfeeding. Just went cold turkey in the end, told them No, the milk is all gone now, you're a big boy, you don't need it anymore. Had a day of tantrums then they got over it.

I mean he's been able to ask since he was about 7 months and the WHO recommends breastfeeding til 2.

An asteroid could hit the earth and he wouldn't be distracted, he's an absolute one track mind boob monster. I've refused today and he's genuinely not stopped whining at me for it.

I’m in the same boat. 16 month old screams if he’s not on my boob, but happily sits with other people/ is at nursery 4 days a week. Feeds all night too. I’m too exhausted to give in

I didn't get on with don't offer, don't refuse.

I offered his other milk at regular intervals, whilst dropping to morning, lunch and night. Then I had a "5-7" rule (am and pm). Then just pm after he night weaned.

Then dropped it one day, when he understood "all gone", as in "mummy's milk is all gone".

DD is older now but when she was that age she was still feeding multiple times a day despite weaning well. Basically if I sat down she thought she should get a bit! It didnt help that we were in lockdown back then so she had plenty of opportunity!!

I fed mine til that age and it really was morning and bedtime when we stopped. I think if you really don’t want to be feeding throughout the day, you have to say no, distract, offer lots of snacks and just get on with it.

If you’re worried about their development in general, I had to wean my oldest at about 2 as I wasn’t getting pregnant while feeding (works for some not for me) she’s 5 now and very intelligent, heathy and well-rounded.

Anyway, I plan on feeding my current toddler for a while yet. She has just turned two and is better if there is a routine. I only feed her over night now, or if she’s really done something in the day to upset herself (fallen badly, missed a nap). Generally, if she asks I just say ‘booby at bedtime’. If I say yes at all during the day we literally wouldn’t do anything else, so my suggestion is make it a routine. You could do it am, pm and only when you sit to read a book, for example.

This! If I sit down I'm toast, he's like right, boob time.

Your baby could talk at 7 months? Damn, you might have a prodigy there. None of mine started until like 12 months old, I don't think. Might have said the odd Mama earlier.

I fed both of mine for several years. I had a preference for feeding lying down on the bed. This seemed to help when they were older, as they associated feeding with the bedroom and didn't ask outside of that, so I just fed morning & evening, which then reduced to once a day. It will be harder to change your DC's association, but you may need to be strict with it if you want them to accept it. (Or never sit down!!) I know some people have snacks available that they offer instead, but this doesn't work for everyone.

Mine is 14 months, DC3. I did BF the elder two but not for as long.

My baby has about 3 night feeds still unfortunately which is a right PITA but he eats very little solid food still and when we've tried to avoid a night feed he will cry inconsolably for long periods and be up for another 2hrs then sleep for 30-60 mins then wake again. So it does seem he's actually hungry then unfortunately for me. He also goes to nursery 3 days a week and sometimes spends another day a week with his DF and doesn't have milk then at all and is fine.

I felt similarly to you but the last month or so I've found he only wants to BF if we are at home. I don't know if your LO might not be bothered but mine is happy and distracted when elsewhere, and to be honest even if we are out for a very prolonged period he is distracted and doesn't really want to BF even when I've offered once before a nap time. So I've managed to cut it down like that, but days we are at home he still feeds every few hours. More if he's unwell.

I think at 17 months to be honest they should be able to understand a twice a day schedule if that's what you want to implement though and if they're eating well then that would be fine. My older two just had cows milk in a cup morning and before bed at that age and were fine.

Babies can communicate well before they have understandable words! My DC could similarly clearly communicate wanting to breastfeed from a similar age even without words.

I breastfed my youngest until around her 3rd birthday.
By the end of it, it was just bedtime and even then, she’d only feed for a few minutes and then fall asleep anyway.
Between the ages of 1 and 2 though she was feeding eleventy million times a day still 🫠 She’d have 3 meals a day and snacks inbetween, and drinking water from a cup, but she’d still breastfeed pretty often throughout the day and at least once at night.
I went by the logic of breastfeeding being a 2-way relationship - if it’s no longer working for either party, then it’s fine to stop or set boundaries. By the time she was 2, I could distract DD quite easily - she’d ask for a feed and I could say something like “let’s finish this book first” or “I’m making your lunch in a minute” and she’d be fine waiting, or would forget she’d even asked.

I don’t think there is an easy way around this. If you don’t want him still feeding on demand, you just have to say no, don’t give in and ride out the ensuing behavioural outburst till he realizes he’s not getting milk on demand anymore. It’ll probably may be easier if you stop feeding him altogether.

I was an extended breast feeder too btw.

He could sign milk from that age. He still can't talk!

At 18 months old, both of my boys were absolute boob monsters and I remember remarking that it was like feeding a newborn once I got in from work (they'd be fine all day without me)! My (currently 20 month old) DD was completely different, much less interested, and has already self weaned.

DS is 16 months. He feeds multiple times a day and night. I did say I'd just continue through winter for the immune benefits but I don't really care about stopping. It's good for him , it doesn't really bother me

He might be one of those who are late talkers then suddenly start with whole sentences. He sounds clever. Mine were pretty much 'reach out for things and whinge' at 7 months.

I fed ds till nearly 2. I was at work 3 days a week from before he was 1. He ended up feeding a bit in the night (cosleeping) but I stopped nearly 100% in the day from age 1. I just made a joke of it and said “we don’t have milk from mummy in the day!” And laughed and that jollied him out of it. I suspect he was laughing as he thought “yeah, whatever but I’ll make up for it by keeping you up tonight!”.

I think in your situation, if you’re feeling a bit done with it, I’d be suggesting he doesn’t have it when he whinges and trying to jolly or distract him from it with exciting toys, outings etc. Or just not worrying and going with it as they do switch things up pretty quick at that age and something that feels endless and impossible to change can change in an instant when they decide it’s time 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Same. DD2 was signing more for more food and milk hand signal! Really clearly actually

Mine could sign milk from 9 months old. I showed it him from birth

DD was 2 years 3 months and I told her we were stopping. She accepted it no fuss. At that stage, she was fed at lunch time (nap) and bedtime. Plus once overnight.

DS is 21 months. He is feeding the same, anywhere between 1-3 times in the night.

I'm not sure it's had much immune benefit here, he's been ill solidly since October 😂