Most difficult things about three children?

[Morecoffeethanks]

I know this comes up a lot on here but those with three children what are the things that make it more difficult than two?
My children are 2.5 and 4 years old and life is getting a bit easier so I feel like me and DH are crazy for considering another.
What makes three more complicated than two.
Obviously the expense, which we have considered and we have a big enough car. Holidays we don’t tend to do all inclusive- more euro camp type things.
Do people with three feel like they have the time for all of them?

Mine are now 18, 15 and 12. The difficult things are as you say - cars, holidays, family tickets to things. It’s difficult to find things they all want to do.
They are all going through different stages where they all need different types of support and as parents that can be exhausting. But they’re great!

Hotel rooms were our biggest issue. Family rooms tend to be for two adults and two children. We spent a fortune on an extra room and still all crammed into one.

Ok, so cars and holidays, and generally buying 3 of everything, makes life more expensive.
But my theory is, what am I working for anyway? I could have no kids and a huge house, but that wouldn't make me as happy.
Three is fun. Go for it.

Honestly having three is great fun I was much more relaxed and they all get on great! Just don’t have too big a gap! I went on to have number 4 however had a 5 year gap and that’s the only thing I struggle with as the elder three were all at the same stage.

I would echo this. We have 3, always knew I wanted 3 and we had them close together. 3 pre school children was a wild ride, particularly as I continued to work so for a while the childcare bills literally amounted to the same as my take home pay. But then one by one they start school and childcare bills drop.

My view, from seeing my own family and those of friends around me, is that it’s the age gap which can be the thing that makes 3 tricky, rather than the number itself (although obviously 3 children is busier than 2, just as 2 is busier than 1.) When your children move through each phase together, primary school, secondary, teenage, it makes family life so much easier. You can plan activities and establish routines which work for the whole family. Where I saw it being trickier was with friends who had two close together and then a ‘late’ third child. It always seemed like the first year wasn’t so bad because it was a novelty and with two older ones in school, I think they found having a baby during the day fairly easy. But once it meant a toddler running around it put paid to family meals out etc. Then having the youngest just starting school with the older ones approaching secondary school the gap just seemed so big.

so- long answer, but to sum up, 3 kids can be great but I would definitely say go for it quickly so you keep the age gaps small.

Thanks all, I think the age gap is a really good point. We have less than two years between the two we have and they are at a very similar stage in a lot of ways. I think this year is the last year I would consider a third as I will be 35 later in the year and that’s my cut off in my mind for babies.

Also does it get harder to lose weight and tone up after a third? I felt in great shape after my first and held on to a lot of weight while breastfeeding my second that I only lost two years on. I don’t mind the wrinkly tummy from my babies but really struggle when I feel “big”

I had a small age gap and then 5 yrs between dc2 and dc3. I was good at finding things they could all do. Obviously parks and outdoor places were great until teenage stage for older dc’s. They didn’t want to do things that dc3 was still enjoying so it was a case of splitting up sometimes.
Holidays were mainly Airbnb’s which works out better for us anyway. No rush for breakfast, no being quiet and cramped in the same hotel room.
There are still films they all enjoy so if there was anything on at the cinema that I knew they’d all enjoy (Jurassic park, Spiderman) I was on it.
Meals out are expensive so that happens on special occasions.
we do get one to one time. Especially giving lifts. But I’d use things like shoe or uniform shopping to spend time and have lunch together.
I also used inset days if I could.
I don’t think anything is particularly difficult, you just adapt.

My eldest was almost 6 when no3 was born.
All the compromises were made by ds3
He had to fit in and did but he grew up so fast, only the eldest has the luxury of being the centre of attention. Ds 3 was a lonely teen because the others were never here.

I have three. 6, 1 and 5 months. Hardest thing outside the obvious (big enough car, housing, money etc) is bedtime. Splitting myself in 3 is never easy.

My body never recovered from number 3! After 1 and 2 I bounced back to a size 8 with no effort. Now I am size 12 with no boobs and no stomach muscles.

Don’t hesitate the most difficult thing is wondering why you didn’t do this sooner

We have three. We've found it a perfect number. We are lucky they all get on really well so that helps. We had them close together so no going back to the hard stage, we just didnt leave it for a few hard years.

Only drawback is sometimes we have to buy an extra ticket on top of a family ticket on a day out, but thats a very small price to pay for our own little gang.

We feel a fourth would have stretched us too far, both money and time.

Most difficult thing about number 3? TWINS!! Went from 2 to 4, that was a shock

Mine are female aged 40, 41.5 and 45....I found that at varying times one would feel left out; and as they grew, the older and youngest, never truly bonded.

It hasn't improved either.

A friend who is the father of three children close in age (all adults with children of their own now) once remarked, "You lose the ability for man to man marking when you have three."

@NannyOf8Girls that is something that a few adults have told me about being one of three, one always ends up left out. It is a worry for me. I am one of four and never really felt that way but I wonder if my brother (the only boy) ever did feel that way.
@timetogetlost this is also a fear of mine as selfish and vain as it sounds I am still a woman in my own right not just a mother and looking good is important to me. My face is only just recovering from four years of sleepless nights and my stomach is only just flat again.
@Mumofsoontobe3 i can imagine this is tricky- we have enough problems with both children wanting me to cuddle with them to sleep at the moment but also wanting to go to bed at the same time. I am considering getting them a king size bed to share 🤣

Yes @MadridMadridMadrid totally outnumbered!

Potentially an extra child to put through university

@Snowinsummer we live in a European country where university is currently free. If they want to go to university we won’t be sending the to the UK but that’s a good point!

IME yes, but I also have an inflammatory autoimmune disease which makes everything harder. But then DC3 is my only girl and wow she deffo took my beauty……! I glowed with the boys.

Re age gaps, I am in awe of people who have small gaps 😂 sounds like hell, we have 6y11m between oldest and youngest and it’s brilliant! They’re 10,8 and 3 now and it’s amazing how well they all get on.

Hardest thing - three times the questions and requests!! My god. I have to really set things up and plan so I can get an hour’s peace. Hotel rooms yes, we find that an issue too, but it’s not day to day.

If you have four, does that cancel out "middle child syndrome", or do you end up with 2 who carry this chip 😂

ours are 10, 7 and 3, totally worth it! Logistically the older two are sporty kids so weekend parenting is a 2 person job as we both work full time so the sports are mostly weekends. Dh would like the 3yo to do dance but I can’t see how we can do that so might have to wait until she’s 5, I don’t think that’s the end of the world. She does do swimming lessons and she gets to watch a lot of basketball 😁 and she’s absolutely adorable, while it’s not easy id never ever not do it. We airbnb a lot, hotel rooms do get tricky with 5.

I can think of two families where the third pregnancy resulted in twins. I do think it's worth having a discussion with your DH about how you would both feel and how you would manage financially if a third pregnancy were to result in twins.

This is a good point. Lots of parents don't realise until it's too late that, in England at least, the maximum amount of maintenance loan that most students can access will be nowhere near enough to cover living costs if the student goes away to university. Often the maintenance loan isn't even enough to cover accommodation costs in full, let alone other living costs. The exact amount of maintenance loan available depends on household income, but even a student from a household where both parents work full-time for minimum wage will not be entitled to anything like the maximum loan. And there is almost no adjustment to take account of situations where families have more than one child at university at the same time. OP, even if you stop at two children, now is the time to be saving a regular amount for each child every month in case they want to go away to university. Starting early means you get the benefit of compounding on your savings.