Developed a swallowing phobia …

[inkyspells]

Around 2 months ago I developed a fear of swallowing.
Mostly solid foods.
I have always had some degree of anxiety but I felt okay just this swallowing thing.
i wouldn’t eat food out the house at all and in the house just soft foods.
Anyway I started just eating soft foods like mash ,scrambled eggs etc
Went to GP who offered me sertraline and told me he can refer for cbt but it’s likely June /July before a appointment.
Anyway two weeks ago I started doing some exposure therapy (on my own ,not with therapist ) and I had started feeling a bit better.
I managed to eat out twice in a pub (just a cake and custard and a sandwich ) but that gave me confidence.
Only thing is for some reason I need to chew with my front teeth as I feel like that helps me swallow better (makes no sense I know ) but I’ve been able to eat a roast and a Chinese /sausage sandwiches etc.
I felt so much better
Till yesterday when my partner kept saying
Why you eating like that?
You look ridiculous
Eat properly
I explained why but still saying the same.
Then when I’m eating (on sofa as no dining table ) he turns around every 10 seconds and is watching me swallow and telling me to “eat properly “

I feel like I’ve made a massive improvement and I’m hoping eventually il start eating “properly “ again but I was just happy I was eating normal food again.

Now I feel like I need to go back to my safe food around him so I don’t feel stupid.
Any advice ?

I haven’t taken sertraline as I want to feel better without medication

Is he fully aware of how this phobia is affecting you, if not you need to be straight with him & tell him your fear, this may help him understand.

If he is aware, then he’s being incredibly insensitive & again you need to speak to him about this and how it’s potentially setting you back.

Have you lost weight? If so did you mention this to the GP? If not you need to let them know so they can monitor your weight.

No I haven’t lost any weight as it was only a few weeks really with the softer foods then I managed to start eating the solids.
He knows but as he’s never had anything similar ,doesn’t get it.
I thought I was making progress but now I just feel stupid and that he thinks less of me.

How you see yourself shouldn’t be based on how others (he) sees you.

Making progress on your own is great, not an easy task at all. Are you going to really let his shitty attitude be the reason you don’t defeat this.

He doesn’t sound like a kind, supportive partner.

How completely insensitive of your partner, to not only blurt out something that would instantly make you feel self-conscious and uncomfortable, but to keep on looking at you while you're eating in order to constantly criticise you.

I applaud you OP for doing some therapy on your own and getting as far as you did, it's not easy to override a phobia and I think you did very well!
I'm really sorry that you have a partner that makes you feel the way he does, unless of course he knows nothing about your struggles? In which case I would say he was not only insensitive but unobservant and uncaring.
He is going to be no help to you, but he will hinder you.

Hello there, I’m a speech therapist and as a profession we are sometimes involved in swallowing problems.

Please think again about taking sertraline as prescribed. It’s a really helpful medication- I’ve been on it myself twice for a few months each time. It really settled things down quickly and was a big part of getting better.

@PermanentTemporaryhi,I think with me it’s all of the potential side affects ,mostly the insomnia one,I’m worried about the not sleeping etc
Do you know if sertraline does help the swallowing phobia ?