40 and want to build a career. Suggestions welcome

[JMary2021]

Hi all,

Please no judgment as realise I'm in a hugely privileged position.

I fell pregnant young and unexpectedly, 3 months into my relationship. Luckily we managed to make it work and are still together 20 years later with more children (quite spaced out so youngest is only 7).

Didn't have too much a carer when I met my husband and the job I did have meant I had to work away. I willingly gave up my job to support his carer after our first child (the combination of the work hours we both had plus lack of help from family meant my job was impossible).

Over the last 20 years my husband has worked his backside off and we now are very financially secure (no mortgage, large sum in the bank). He still works but slightly less intense hours and our children are getting older and less in need in of constant care (although one does have some health issues that do require a certain amount of flexibility from any carer I choose).

I have everything I could ever have asked for but I can't help feeling a little but like I want a carer. To achieve more. I'm an intelligent women and I feel like my days are filled with meaningless jobs that no one ever even notices. I have friends but I do get lonely and would really like more adult company. My husband is lovely but an introvert who needs to wind down... talk less after a hard day at work.

Do I need to just accept I have a nice life and be grateful that I get to avoid the stress that work brings. I don't really need the money but it would be nice to feel a little bit more financially independent. Just can't help feeling like I haven't quite fulfilled my potential in life. I have done some volunteering, a bit of work for friends.. but not really ever 'gone for it' with a carer.

Should I try to build a carer or get a degree at 40 years old when I've not worked for 20 years. I have A Levels but didn't go to university.

Would love you hear others experiences good or bad or what starting again at 40 looks like?

Any carer ideas? I'm very good with people but don't really fancy something staring at a screen all day.

I'm lucky enough to be able to spend a bit on retraining but also don't want to spend a crazy amount of money with no guarantee it will help me earn.

Really appreciate any honest and non judgmental advice.

TIA

Of course should should have a career if you want one - life is long (with any luck) and your children will get more and more independent.

An organisation like Career Shifters would be useful to help you figure out what you want to do.

Do you have any first thoughts about what you might be interested in? Being good with people could apply to teaching, medical professions, estate agency, many branches of the law, lots of organisational jobs in many sectors.

Are you confusing carer and career? This board is for carers. Explained at the top of the page.

I thought it was a typo but you’ve written it several times, so it’s career not carer. That sounds like you want to work in care which I’m presuming this isn’t what you mean?
Id hate for you to write that on a job application.

And no it’s not too late! 40 is a great time to start something.

Or do you mean carer as you mention about your child’s care and husbands carer. On the carers board so now I’m confused myself!

Sorry but do you mean Career? This is the carer thread for people who look after various other people. You might want to ask MNHQ to move this to the Work thread.

But no its not too late at all, I did a degree at 43, and qualified as a social worker at 46. You've got a good few years ahead of you. Best of luck

Thank you for your encouragement. I guess I just wish I had something I felt passionate about doing. Definitely customer based as that's what I know I'm good at.

I guess if just feels selfish to not be with my kids, retrain... when I don't actually need the money. There will be sacrifices and that's quite scary

Opps, had a few glasses of wine!!

If you go to the education board there is a section on retraining and work. You could read through that and get some information and ideas.

I went to the civil service at 49. I’d spent my life chasing money and then being a SAHM and suddenly felt I was short changing myself. I wanted to go to bed at night knowing I’d made a difference.

Hi OP,

we have moved this somewhere more relevant to your post as we think you’ll get more helpful responses here! Wishing you all the best