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10 year old when friends come over

8 replies

user672345 · 31/12/2025 09:08

My 10yo is in Y6.

He is always really keen to have his friends over after school and at the weekends and in theory I'm all for this. In practice though, I find it challenging because all his friends want to do is play on screens.

We have what I thought were fairly relaxed screen time rules. No limits on TV (they self limit fairly well). He can have an hour or two of gaming time on a Saturday or a Sunday. He sometimes games during the week after school but not often as he's busy doing other stuff. I'm fairly flexible with it but he is absolutely not allowed to play all day and he doesn't have a gaming set up in his bedroom or anything.

When he's not gaming he will draw, do Lego, go out on his bike, play board games etc.

When his friends come over they just want to game. I give them a bit of time and then say they need to do something else and it gets really awkward as they never want to do anything else he or I suggest.

When he goes to his mates houses they do seem to game literally all day! At a push, they will sit and watch some YouTube! I don't really mind I guess but it's not exactly ideal. Their parents seem to just let them get on with it and let them choose how much time they spend gaming. They all having gaming set ups in their rooms too.

Do I just admit defeat and let him and his mates game as much as they like when they come round? There are a few kids I've stopped inviting round as it just gets really hard when I say it's time to switch off.

Am I really in the minority here? Do all 10 year old boys just spend hours gaming at the weekend when they are at home?

My son isn't sporty at all so he won't go outside and play football or anything which is a real shame as I think that's something some of his friends would be keen to do. He is more musical and creative but his mates aren't into that so not something they can do together.

Short of following them around and basically directing them to activities (which I don't want to do as they feel a bit old for that!), what else can I do?

OP posts:
Zippidydoodah · 31/12/2025 09:14

Would it be the end of the world if he had the occasional gaming day with his friends? If so, why? If the rest of his time is better spent doing different activities etc.

Alternatively, could you maybe take him and his friend out to a local swimming pool/ bowling alley or something?

Purlant · 31/12/2025 09:16

I think they just want to play games together, and this is the only time they can, so it’s not as if they’re playing games all day every day. I am definitely not a gamer, but I remember enjoying playing video games with my friends when I was younger.

HibbityHobbityWho · 31/12/2025 09:18

Not sure it's limited to boys tbh, DD was the same. There's one girl we stopped inviting and I stopped letting DD go round as often.

I always said they could spend the last hour gaming and sent them off to do something outside if possible. They would go to the playground or build a den in the garden or climb trees. If indoors, stuff in DD's room, play a board game or craft etc. I found it easier than letting them game and then trying to turn it off.

Mine still have gaming limits at the weekend 🤷‍♀️ that won't change for a while and it's not something I will give in to. DS's behaviour is so obviously affected every time we try to relax the rules.

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Fruitcakewithcheese · 31/12/2025 09:21

We always had fairly strict rules that we relaxed when they had friends round - gaming with friends is sociable and I don't have an issue with it

user672345 · 31/12/2025 09:23

It definitely wouldn't be the end of the world if he had a gaming day with his mates, no but he does ask to have them round quite often so it probably would end up being once every other week or so?

I guess I'm just a bit sad they can't think of anything else to do? I think it'll be easier once they are a secondary school as they will be able to do things on their own, like go out on scooters to the park etc. I would quite happily let DS do this already with a few of his friends but his friends parents aren't keen yet (which I respect).

OP posts:
Fruitcakewithcheese · 31/12/2025 09:27

user672345 · 31/12/2025 09:23

It definitely wouldn't be the end of the world if he had a gaming day with his mates, no but he does ask to have them round quite often so it probably would end up being once every other week or so?

I guess I'm just a bit sad they can't think of anything else to do? I think it'll be easier once they are a secondary school as they will be able to do things on their own, like go out on scooters to the park etc. I would quite happily let DS do this already with a few of his friends but his friends parents aren't keen yet (which I respect).

I think the issue is traffic
I would happily have let my children be independent when they were much younger but even though we live in a sleepy village there are lots of huge SUVs driving very fast
And you are right. Once they went to secondary they did a far bigger mix of things with friends - kickabouts, cinema, etc

Keroppi · 31/12/2025 09:28

At least they're together in the same room rather than apart ? I would let it go but I also was relaxed around gaming. Never had games in bedroom though just converted the 'playroom' into a teen den style thing as they got older
Maybe get some/encourage son to bring out co op games like Mario cart or 2 player shooting ones.. or you could buy a "retro" console like a ps1, n64 etc and see if they'd play through some older classic games. Some good co-op games on the older systems even xbox 360. Might be fun and better than constant Roblox

I hosted a few LAN and minecraft parties for my early teens too which was nice
Are they into board games at all? That can be fun with pizzas

user672345 · 31/12/2025 09:40

Thanks for the replies so far, I guess I overlooked the social side of gaming with friends a bit.

Interesting to hear it's not just boys though. I have 3 boys and he's my eldest. I have absolutely no experience of girls of a similar age as weirdly all my friends and family also only have boys!

We actually live in a very safe small town so traffic not an issue at all really in comparison to other places but I do understand other parents reluctance to let their kids go places alone yet. No judgement at all, I just feel differently.

I guess I'll also have to explain to the 8yo why his brother can game with his friends when they come over but he can't! (Most of his friends don't game at all and their parents don't want them to, it's very different!).

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