Having a hard time, I know it's late

[Feelindowntoday]

I've come on here for a collective kick up the bum please.

December has been hard for me, I lost a friend and then a wider family member and now a closer family member is deteriorating in a care home. Visiting my friend and my close family member in their respective homes has been difficult.

I've enjoyed some special time with my family over Christmas, but I feel on the edge a lot. It doesn't take much to upset me.

There's also a lot of uncertainty at work, and likely redundancies though to be honest that's been compartmentalised for now.

I know I need to pull myself together, especially as there is a generation between mine and my family member, and my friend had closer friends etc. I know it's not all about me, but it's all affecting me and I feel guilty about that.

I want to make a resolution/something positive for 2026. Can anyone help me with ideas? Thank you.

Grok would be great for this!

If I were you, I would try to gently remind myself that aging and death are part of the cycle of life that none of us can avoid. It is very emotional to see those around us that we love at the last stages of life. However, us feeling down is not going to get them any younger or feel better. You should try to spend as much time as you can with with your loved ones and while you are with them, make them feel nothing but peace and love as well.

This is not the end... you will meet each other one day💙

@Feelindowntoday I am sorry you are having a hard time. I want you to know
what you are feeling/going through is very normal and its called the grief cycle. The gloomy days at this time of year also don’t help. The stressful and unsettling situation at work is an added factor.

The grief cycle has 5 stages Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. I have found you go through the stages many times and in a different order.

What you need to do is be kind to yourself and practice self care. Everyone grieves differently and you have the right to grieve in your own way. On sunny days try to get out in the daylight.

I personally find that crafting takes concentration and gives my mind a rest, even just colouring in helps. When I finish I often find the emotion then comes out and I can find myself crying or letting out my anger. This is healthy and helps you move forward.

WRT work stresses would mindfulness meditation help or just writing it down to vent your frustration etc.

I'd start small as you have so much else to contend with.

Swimming once a week? Read a book? Take up learning an instrument / language / other study? Paint, garden or sculpt?

Give up a bad habit?

Whatever you decide, be kind to yourself.