Stagnating in Middle Age

[Middleagemoper]

Short version as I’m an oversharer…

I’m soon to be 50 and I am one boring bugger. I’m so directionless and apathetic.

Snapshot of background: married to a lovely husband, 2 late teenage children at home, aging family members, part time job (not career) - basically nothing to moan about and I’m largely content and feel lucky with my lot. I’m just not happy with this current gloomy version of myself. I have zero spark and zero ambition.

A completely first world problem but does anyone have any words of wisdom? (I don’t want to take HRT.)

Well this is exactly the right time to be thinking about the rest of your life. Kids getting older and needing less.

one way to think of to try something from each category - exercise, volunteering, leaning something new, a new social thing.

Want to travel / go theatre / get a horse - work out where and how much you need to save

snd perhaps think how you were as a child and what you saw life and what you loved doing

you can “scatter gun” trying something new every few months or focus on one thing.

its why those finding yourself in middle age ( and mid life crisis) cliches and movies are so common - it’s normal

I’m sort of similar but I think rewarding voluntary work might be good..? Food bank/charity shop/prison visitor/Homestart..there are many more. It can take the focus away from ourselves and ‘giving something back’ can be a great, worthwhile feeling for ourselves - as well as becoming aware of people in society who are worse off than ourselves.

I’m over ten years older, have a rewarding job, three adult children and great hobbies which helps to move me away from the lacklustre feeling you describe

(I don’t want to take HRT.)

Why not?

Menopause is a hormone deficiency with health risks. Do you plan to never take it?

Also why not? It protects you from heart attacks and osteoporosis, I don't want to end up with a hump bending me double like my mum.
It also gives you a much greater zest for life along with private testosterone.
Im 64 now and have never felt younger or more motivated.

Do you have any ambitions that fell by the wayside? I'm a similar age and recently took up the piano. I also do a fair bit of volunteering work with the Scouts and with Parkrun. It gets you out to meet people and contribute to something.

You need to understand the health benefits of HRT before totally dismissing it. The drop in oestrogen can be the cause of the symptoms you're experiencing. HRT can reduce likelihood of cognitive decline, osteoporosis, dementia etc. It is completely different now to the old forms of HRT.