Missing myself a little

[HernanBrooke]

This might sound odd, but I sometimes feel like I miss myself. Not who I was in any dramatic sense, just the version of me that had a bit more mental space and energy.
Life feels fuller now, but also more consuming, and I’m not always sure where I fit within it all. I don’t think anything needs fixing exactly, but I do wonder how people reconnect with themselves when life gets noisy.
Writing this feels slightly exposing, but also relieving.

Great question and I feel the same. I think peri has a lot to do with it too.

Absolutely. I massively miss my pre-motherhood self. I’m now in peri and losing my physical strength and vitality too. Intellectually know the old me isn’t coming back but it doesn’t stop me missing that version of me intensely. I spend quite a lot of time contemplating who or what I would have become if I’d made other life choices. But, of course, then I wouldn’t have my fab DC. 🤷‍♀️

I’m in my 60s now and have learnt to accept and embrace a slightly different me. I still think as out and occasionally hanker after the person I was.

That doesn’t sound odd at all, honestly. I’ve felt that too — not wanting my old life back, just missing the headspace I used to have. It’s like you’re still there, just buried under responsibilities and constant mental noise.
I don’t think it means anything’s wrong, more that life has expanded and you haven’t quite caught up with where you fit in it yet. For me, it comes in small moments rather than big changes — doing something just because I want to, even if it’s only half an hour, and not feeling guilty about it.
You’re not alone in feeling this, and I’m glad you wrote it. Sometimes just naming it helps you feel a bit more like yourself again.

I make sure to spend some time “in my room” like I did as a teenager and young woman. Writing in my notebooks, reading my books, listening to music etc.