Feeling second best in family

[Paratana]

I’m meeting my family later today for a few days over the holidays and I can already feel myself tense up. I like them all individually but I always end up feeling shit. Most of it is feeling not good enough growing up for my dm (and her letting db get away with anything compared to my dsis and me), and part is me looking for issues I am sure. Honestly I am a well balanced adult normally but with my family I regress. How do I get through the next days without coming out of the other end feeling shot and that I never want to meet up all together again?

Have a script and stick to it - ‘oh that sounds interesting’, ‘oh good for you.’ Don’t be drawn into comparisons - particularly from years ago. If you can, try and set the score to 0:0 so you don’t start off on the back foot.
Give yourself time for 1:1 interactions - ‘me and dsis want to watch this film,’ ‘me and dm can do the Tesco run ourselves’…
And also time for yourself - maybe schedule a call with friends, your daily yoga YouTube etc

good luck!

Give myself time for 1:1 interactions and have standard replies and t er not let myself be drawn into the comparison is such good advice! I will try that