Agh! How do you host an 18th birthday party?

[Noweighteen]

DS wants an 18th birthday party at our house for about 30.
help!
We don’t have family so it would be more a regular teen party, but obviously we’d like it to be special/ easy for him without it getting too overwhelming and us being too interfering. Friend says we should go round twice through the evening with plates of Cornish pasties otherwise leave them. Have to say I’d find that a bit cringe.
we thought we’d hide upstairs in case and they can have downstairs and the garden.
Any tips please? My brain has totally frozen. What food? Veggie option? Do we provide beer and wine? Do we provide a cake? If so do we have a toast and cut it With them all? Do we even say hello? Yikes!
dont even know what time to start it!
visions of teen parties in American films haunt me. Luckily no swimming pool. All tips very welcome indeed!

Thirty eighteen year olds let loose in your house with alcohol... are you sure you want to?! Even if they're all good kids there's going to be mess and accidents from the sheer number of them, plus theres got to be at least a couple in a group of 30 who will drink way too much and do goodness knows what...

But if you definitely want to, foodwise lots of pizzas - easy to do veggie and meat. Hotdogs is easy too, construct them in advacne and leave on a big platter with ketchup and mustard to add as desired. Cornish pasties is random but I guess tasty - was that your friend's suggestion or your son's friend?! Cupcakes/muffins for cake so there's no need to figure out slicing and making it go round enough people. Leave candles out and they can light and sing if they want to. If you could, I'd start in the late afternoon and finish earlier, maybe kick them to the pub about 10pm, but that might be wishful thinking!

Book a pub function room?

Be mindful of the alcohol provision. If some of the attendees are under 18, their parents might object. I’d do a BYOB type thing, though probably best to tell them no spirits or your house will be undoubtedly be wrecked with someone’s vomit.

Overall, the less they see you, the better. Definitely no Cornish pastie runs. Just provide easy snacks like crisps in bowls and have pizzas delivered at a certain time.

I’d stay upstairs and give them the run of downstairs, if you have s as toilet down there. That way you’re out of sight, but close enough if someone drinks themselves to unconsciousness or there’s another issue that requires an experienced adult.

As for a cake, I don’t think that’s a thing for an 18th with friends; double check with your DS but that’s maybe best left for a family thing.

Gone are the days when kids could drink and trash the house. That is not cool nor safe. Twenty-first birthdays are less fraught with worry of being sued or someone being hurt.

Do be on the premises.
Give out your phone no. to parents.
Register party with the local Police.
Invitation not to be broadcast over social media. You don't want gate crashers.
Invite another couple to help you host.
Make it a NO BYO and strictly NO drugs party.

Host in a way that gives the guests an indication of how they behave.
Dress up smart. Use plates, glasses and walk around offering plates of finger food and, later, cheese toasties, birthday cake and soup/cocoa.
BBQ sausages and chops.
Cordon off sections of the house.
Have start and finish times.

Take car keys off drivers.
Allow guests to bring a sleeping bag and sleep over.
(Pay attention to guests being in a state of mind to be able to consent if they are couples.)

You can not be serving alcohol to minors.
Keep the menu full and the drinks simple.
Hire a drinks waiter (friend) with an RSA to serve non alcoholic punch, mocktails, and alcoholic punch, beers and cider to those with ID.

Your child and their friends don't NEED to be falling over drunk to have a great time.
Ask child about entertainment and decorations.
Go full on with those and the music, games etc.
Say YES to all fun games and music. Make a dance floor and disco ball.

At finish time call off drinks and assist those who are capable to their rides, taxis.
No more alcohol for those staying over.

Cook up a breakfast the next morning.

If you can not host responsibly, hire a function room in a hotel. The bar staff then have to control underage drinking. You could organise shared taxis and parents at pick up time.

I like a lot of your advice, especially the drugs and social media rules.

However, are you from the UK? She can provide alcohol for minors. It’s just that the parents might disagree.

Have a list of who is invited. Contact numbers for parents are good - things do happen.

Have a rule that everyone must turn off Snapchat location. Otherwise kids who are not invited will see there is a gathering and turn up.

Lots of food. Bring one lot out an hour into the party and another lot towards the end.

Letterbox your neighbours and let them know. Tell them that music will be turned right down at 12 and stick to that.

You want your child to have fun but they will also set the tone. If they start disrespecting your house or get drunk really early then chances are high the others will follow suit. Have a chat about expectations.

If you have younger DC, can you arrange a sleepover elsewhere for them?

plus everything @user1492757084 said.

Tell him closed group chat invite only.
Remain on premises upstairs.
Do safety check every hour (quick check everyone ok anyone visibly drunk ring their parents to collect them or get kids to do so you want them off your hands asap)
Have a clear time limit 8-12 hard deadline for leaving
Remove everything of value from downstairs this includes clocks on walls (bitter experience)
If you have carpets get carpet protector used by decorators thankfully we have hard floors but floor was filthy as they go in garden and tramp through house
Provide no food whatsoever lots of soft drink some alcohol they will bring
Warn neighbours in your WhatsApp group and confirm it’s supervised and the finish time.

Hosted 3 proper teen parties. Never ever again.

You’re brave!

I agree with you though, get to Iceland for some picky bits, put them out and then leave them to it.

I did one for 15 as an 18th. It was carnage on the night, I hated it. To be fair, they stayed over and did clear everything up in the morning.

For 30? Don't do it. Hire a room.

Fancy dress is good as creates better vibe and improves behaviour. The boys were all in suits at the last one (their choice)

I disagree with the above poster regarding food, I would provide food to slow down the affects of the alcohol. Otherwise, you'll quickly have very drunk teens trashing your house.

It would be better if you hired a venue (pub function room, club or bar) instead of having it in your house. A few months ago, a mnetter posted re her dd's 18th which was a disaster. The guests trashed her house & she had to replace the bathroom & carpets due to vomit & shit. Think twice about hosting it in your house.

Mine were adamant they didn’t want food. An extra layer of hassle. If party starts at 8 the guests should have eaten dinner beforehand..

Pizzas, crisps and easy stodge such as garlic bread to absorb the alcohol (preferably low % or zero) isn't that much of a hassle.

That thread was about a horrific 27 year old!

Teens tidied and cleared up. Damage was caused by clumsiness rather than malice. Each teen has had a full on party now so we’re done.

I felt we should host as mine went to parties at others houses think it’s Abit crap to refuse to ever host one.

In the future we have said happy to host groups of 15 max of actual friends but that’s it.

We did host a large all girl party after prom as a girls school and there was zero damage and no stress despite 50 guests. So sorry boy mums but think we’ve identified the issue…

Start at about 7.30pm. Buy a few cases of beer and cider - enough for 2 drinks each (they will also bring their own) along with two large flats of Coke and lemonade as quite a few of them won’t drink, and a dozen bags of sharing crisps/Doritos etc.Order 8 - 10 Domino's pizzas for about 9pm - 4 margaritas and 4 pepperonis (don’t, and I cannot stress this enough, offer choice. If you do you’ll be faffing around with complicated orders for 8 half and half pizzas with all sorts of nonsense on them). Have a strict curfew (say 11.30 or 12). Stay out of the way - under no circumstances must you come down the stairs. Talk to your DS in advance about preparations and cleaning up.

Get padlocks on the bedrooms and store everything, and i mean everything, in there. Get plastic film to cover the carpets everywhere. Have a strict end time. Go out for the evening and come back at the end time. Pray for limited damage. Good luck.

I wouldn’t go out for the evening no way. I felt literally on duty. I was upstairs stone cold sober with a flask of tea and a sandwich. There’s minors in my house and I’m fucking liable if one comes to grief.

Soup and cocoa? Someone will probably end up wearing it

Plates glasses and handing round finger food whilst banning byo booze?! That isn’t any teenage party I’ve ever heard of! Mine would have refused to have a party if that was the offering. Maybe that’s actually the plan? In which case genius.

My youngest celebrated his 18th at home with 24 friends a few years ago.

The invitations were done by text, not group Whatsup or other platforms, and only to friends he wanted, most of which he had known since primary school.

My son is celiac and there were several people vegetarian, so I ended up doing a buffet with printed big signs showing everyone where their food was on the table. Pizzas, sandwiches, roast beef, roasted chicken drumsticks, roasted potatoes, chips, salads, moroccan lamb kebabs, we did it all. I hired two tables, chairs and a small marquee because the party was in the garden and it was winter. I also bought a cheap fire pit on Amazon, that they all loved it.

We bought 2 cases of beer, one of cider and a mixed 6 wine bottles red and white. No spirits. Loads of mineral water and soft drinks. The soft drinks were gone and half the alcohol was left. Young kids today are not into alcohol.

The only thing worrying me was the toilet issue. My laundry is also a bathroom with direct access to the garden but I didn't want it to be piss Central Station. I told my son only girls could come to the house to use the toilet,and except in emergencies, the boys could find a seclude spot in the garden to take a leak.

Best decision I could take. I wouldn't say the bathroom was spotless when the party ended, but it was in a pretty good condition considering.

Some advice here is a bit OTT. I don’t think our local police would give a fuck about a teen party being “registered” with them. DS would also die if we suggested games.

We had a party. I provided beer and pizza. I went down a few times once when the noise was too much. One person was sick (outside) they were all gone by 12.30.

A friend had similar but provided no alcohol but they could bring their own. She didn’t want to be responsible for giving out alcohol.

For DD’s 18th we hired a marquee for the back garden, threw up some fairy lights, bought pizzas and cocktail food from Costco, and hung out watching movies in the living room.

we let all the neighbours know in advance and told the kids that the minute anyone complained about noise the whole thing was going to be shut down. They were brilliant though, and a few came over the next day to clean up with us.

You don’t! Book a venue. Unless you are 100% sure only 30 will turn up it’ll very quickly get out of hand. That would mean ensuring a minimum of 30 17-18 year olds tell no one else about the party. Highly unlikely in my opinion. Can’t you book a room in a local pub or function room instead ?

Short answer is ‘you don’t’. Just do food + prinks and book a fleet of taxis to arrive about 10pm to take them to a club.

Can't you just hire a function room at a pub? Pay for a load of pizzas, let them have a cash bar, and STAY AWAY!