How have you grown this year?

[Happyinheels]

And I don’t mean the current half a stone Christmas weight I’m carrying 😆

I will preface this by saying I am an absolute people pleaser who hates conflict. I am naturally empathetic which also means I’m often trampled all over! I’ve never been good at speaking up for myself.

With the approaching new year, I’ve been reflecting on this past year and I’m quite surprised as I realise I have grown into a stronger person.
I started the year by speaking up for myself and telling a family member that I refused to be dragged into a situation that’s been ongoing for a few years now. I’ve spent the past few years listening kindly, patiently and nodding in all the right places. For this family member, she refuses to move on from the issue and talks about it like it’s just happened. Everyone else moved on from the situation apart from her. Ultimately she wanted me to pick her side. It didn’t involve me at all and I stood up for myself and said I wasn’t going to be drawn into it and I wasn’t going to choose sides. She hasn’t been the same with me since.

Another couple of incidents where I’ve removed myself from those group chat things where there’s been veiled passive-aggressiveness, conflict etc.

So looking back over the year, I realise I’ve grown in confidence at stepping away from situations that mess with my peace. It might sound like nothing but for me it’s massive.

How have you grown over this past year?

Confidence! At work, I never said anything negative as i always worried it would get back to the relevant people. Now, I say how I feel because why not?

My 'best friend' completely ghosted me but has done several times over the years. I used to get upset by this but not no more. My DD is 4 and I want her to be confident and strong, not a push over.

I've finally managed to see my own worth.
Secondly, I do not feel at all bad about an 18 year friendship ending. I realised the other party played the victim and I never called them out....until the day I did. They were unable to see anything other than themself and I realised at a time in my life that I needed to be heard that it was still all about them. Working on my boundaries has definitely improved this year.

@DriveVerySlowlyPastNumber23IWantThemToSeeMyHat well done, those are really amazing positive steps! I always think about my daughter too and the example I’m setting her.
Here’s to 2026 continuing the same way!

@Squirrelchops1 ‘working on boundaries’ - I’m going to adopt that for 2026.
Those are great areas of growth! Well done!

I could have written this exact thing

I have always tried so hard to achieve, please, multi task, work harder , do better.
This year I read somewhere ' you can do anything, but not everything ' and this has stayed with me.
It's a work in progress but I am trying to do less. Let things go including voluntary work i just can't manage now, relationships that I can't chase anymore and ( impossible) standards I just can't live up to.
I am beginning to accept that time spent looking after myself and just resting is time well spent.

Just not worrying so much about pointless things. I think that's possibly come with going through the menopause and my hormones settling down. Now I just do an inward shrug and think "well, no-one died, and no-one will remember this next year so what's the problem?" Quite liberating.

Well done op! I'm also a major people pleaser but have started asserting myself more over the past few months and it feels good. To quote plenty on mumsnet no is a complete sentence :)

I have finally got the bit between my teeth wrt my divorce. As promised, my ex IS making it difficult and exprnsive , i have a HUGE CC bill, but im pushing through. Ive had to fight with every fibre of my being not to back down. It hasnt been easy, but its becomibg easier each time i come up against yet another issue.

This year definitely honed resilience and just cracking on with the stuff. Been an absolute shit show of a year but DH and I have got through it well. Well done us. May next year be easier