When did staying in start feeling better than making plans every weekend?

[LindaFiato]

It sounds like a pretty natural shift tbh, and I don’t think it needs to be a “problem” at all. When you’re younger or in a more hectic phase, being busy can feel like proof you’re doing life right. Then at some point the appeal of constant plans just drops off.
What links this with the organiser post is realising how much energy you were actually spending, not just socially but mentally. Always saying yes, always arranging things, always being “on”. Once you step back, you notice how nice it is to protect your time and only do what you actually want to do.
Friends can joke about it, but feeling more rested and content is a pretty good sign you’re listening to yourself rather than running on habit or guilt. I think for a lot of people it’s a mix of age, burnout, and better self awareness. Less about becoming boring, more about becoming honest with your own limits.

I’m in my 70s and haven’t reached that stage. I can enjoy being at home but basically I like to be out and about, meeting friends, going to the theatre. I like a full diary. I don’t think it’s about age it is about outlook on life.

I’m in my forties and more of a home bird. When kids were little we went out every day and as they got older both days at weekend. Now we do visit family one or two weekends a month and the others we might nip to shop or go out for food or we might stay in and chill. I do keep in touch with friends though and meet up every few months. I am aware that when we get older (like retirement age) it’s good to be social and active and I don’t want to be reliant on my kids to entertain me.

I think it's less to do with age and more to do with our way of life nowadays. We are too comfortable and entertained at home...we have TV on demand and social media to keep in touch. In previous decades people went out more because it was boring at home.

Its so expensive to go out. We used to go to a little old fashioned, slightly tatty, but cheap cinema regularly. They didn't allow mobile phones,made a joke about them, but it worked. Sadly it closed after COVID. The cinema complex,is expensive and so many times ruined by people next to me using their phones,last time I ended up with a migraine because of the flashing lights, they didn't watch any of the film. Used to go to a carvery, every month on a Friday. Can't eat the average size restaurant meal,we could pick what we want. Did this for 10 years, then it changed owners. Service went right downhill. Decided to give them another chance, still the same, and then they stopped doing carvery in the week, weekends are more expensive, I wear hearing aids, and the noise levels from a lot of people and kids is unbelievable. Coffee and cake while out is a treat. I loath shopping, only go if I need something. We have dogs, are quite near the beach. I've always said my idea of a good time,is a cream tea.

In my 50s and not reached that stage yet and hope I never do
Love being out and about with DH or friends and especially my sisters

I think its a bit more practical than that for me.
When I was younger, I didn't have as nice a home. I now have a very nice home in a very nice location, full of every creature comfort I could want, so the urge to go out is so much less.
I am definitely more tired mentally these days too though. I'm not willing to spend my free time driving up and down the motorway to see friends and family like I used to.

I was never in , work Inc weekends, very regular social life, 3 kid's.
Still work , 2 out of 3 kids independent 1 almost and now my absolute favourite thing is no plans and staying in .
I'm in my fifties and the older I get the more I like a quieter life, shopping once a pastime now bores me and so many places out are expensive and disappointing.
I'm not a miserable person, I have lovely friends and family and I'm happily married it's just that home is my comfort in this mad busy age we're living in.

I agree @Comedycook, we couldn't get our social fulfilment via our phones so easily when we were younger, and didn't have the array of home-entertainment options we do now.

It's coincided with friends having children in their mid-late 30s and having less time, energy, freedom and ease to be out and about, which is all very understandable. Friends with older children are coming out the other side so are more up for being social.

I'm in my 40s and more socially-active than I've ever been. I'm usually out and about half the evenings a week and most weekends are full, seeing various friends or going to things connected with hobbies (art galleries, makers' markets, volunteering, days out to new places) - I love the life I've built and sometimes have to remind myself to slow down! I think I've perhaps become more discerning about what I say yes to, but have filled my time with things that really fill my cup.

I'm 50 next year and can't imagine a time when I'd rather stay in and have quiet weekends rather than go out seeing friends, exercising, going to the pub, out for meals, etc.

I hate not having plans and the thought of pottering about and binge watching Netflix all weekend sounds so dull but each to their own.

Nearly all my friends are a lot younger than me,work full time and are around 50 miles away where I used to work,so it's quite difficult seeing them. We don't drink,so not interested in pubs. I'm an only child, parents dead.I've always loved the countryside and the beach.

It’s an age thing, I think those in their late 30 and 40s are right in the middle of full headspace life plus we are also those that have a bigger interest in social media and so we have the balance of our kids, and life being heavy on mental load, we have the pressure of our jobs probably being at their peak points but also it’s peak money making points too professionally. I imagine when my kids are older like those people here in their 50s I’ll have more capacity to go out more.

@Radiator981 I think that does have something to do with it but I've never liked staying in, even when the kids were young we'd still be out every weekend at friends houses for drinks rather than being stuck in!

I’m early seventies and sort of had a lightbulb moment a couple of years ago -being at home is lovely, have lovely home, big garden, live rurally, mostly when I meet up, people are really talking about other local people. If they aren’t particular friends that’s boring gossip to me.
Walk in the countryside is my first thought if I want to do something

Not an age thing for me. I'm 59 now and have absolutely never been one for going out and socialising much. Especially not in the evening.

I am much happier with my own company and some peace. Anyone wanting to socialise loads can do it without me.

I don't have much social energy for "going out" because I'm out most evenings for mum-taxi and a couple of activities for me. Mid-40s with teenagers. I'm often tired from squeezing exercise in early/ late in the day.

When the nest empties in my 50s that means less time and social energy used up on routine and more to spare for casual socialising... maybe...
I think I would get bored hanging around the house most nights...

Not an age thing for me either. I love going out and doing things.

When I had DC's. And the final nail in the coffin was the council turning the streetlights right down, I won't even do a later gym class now as I hate walking home in the dark.

I feel a sense of relief that I no longer chase the dragon of social connection. Instead, I am developing a rich internal world. Focus on an art practice which by necessity is a solitary process.

This I’m out 3 times a week for eldest sport - and then matches on Sat and Sun, fitting my work and exercise in makes me tired too as it’s either early start before work or my wfh day at lunch time.

also have an ND child that takes up my evenings I know in a few years I’ll have more time

That’s a really good point actually. It’s easy to blame age, but it probably is more about personality and outlook than anything else. Some people genuinely get energy from being out and about and having a full diary, and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.
I think what I’m realising is less “I’m older so I want to stay in” and more being clearer about what gives me energy versus what drains it. For some people that’s home time, for others it’s theatre nights and seeing friends. Both feel like doing life right in their own way.