I wish I still got presents at Christmas!

[Sidebeforeself]

Just one would do. Nicely gift wrapped and surprise. Just something to wait under the tree for me and open.

I really only have DH and SDs but they have kids now and DH is a “pick something you like and I’ll give you the money “ person.

So no presents for me and I think it’s a shame.

Merry Christmas, @Sidebeforeself

This is a daydream more than a liklihood. You seem to have accepted that. So how could you make what you want happen happen? 🤔

It seems like just telling your DH this would be sufficient to solve the problem.

If he's nervous to get your main gift without instruction then he can get you a few stocking fillers and put them under the tree.

Could you put an Amazon list together and ask that he picks from it and wraps it. So it's sort of a surprise?

Thankyou and you too! I have tried with DH but he just goes on about needing me to tell him what I want which isn’t the point. I suppose I could give him a list and get him to choose one thing .

But it’s not the gift in itself, it’s that childish anticipation I suppose. Let’s face it, it’s nice knowing someone has thought of you, bought you something , wrapped it up etc. Of course its not proof that someone loves you by itself, but its a nice symbol of their affection for you isn’t it?

Believe me we have this conversation almost every Christmas. I tell myself it doesn’t matter but this year I realise it does. For various reasons not seeing SDs this year either .

And yes I would get him presents too but he asks me not to bother

I completely get you, @Sidebeforeself. Its knowing that someone actually thought about you. My exH was like this, used to offer money, or tell me to give him links to the exact thing, which he would then give to another friend to wrap up, because he couldn't even be arsed to do that "and she was so good at wrapping ".

If he's a decent bloke in all other ways, talk to him, tell him how you feel and how much it means to you to get a proper gift. If he still doesn't step up, well, you'll know where you stand. Also, it's mean of your SDs not to get you something.

Nervous? 😂 He can't be arsed taking the initiative and making a bit of effort.

@CarefullyCuratedFurniture Thanks. I’m less bothered about SDs not getting me anything as they have commitments ,and one is away etc. I just think Christmas can be a bit of a difficult time once you start losing loved ones etc so its nice to have a bit of Christmas cheer

I know what you mean. Every year everyone gets a surprise present ( that I buy) but me. I buy my own present and give it to my kids to wrap and place under the tree. Also buy my own birthday present and pretend it’s from the kids!

I don’t get presents either although I buy them for others.
I used to get presents from two friends but this year they suggested we go out for a meal together instead.
I don’t think they realised theirs were the only presents I ever got as they have family.

@SidebeforeselfI felt the same so I now gift myself things lol Merry Christmas!

@Sweetiedarling7 Oh thats a shame.

DH is a kind loving man by the way..just not fussed about gifts and gift giving.And my wider family and friends dont get me gifts for various reasons. So I never have something to open.

I’m made sure DH & I kept up the gifting to eachother and it goes a long way to be honest. It’s not about the material possessions but being thoughtful. Ok, it needs to be all year round but Xmas is a good time!

Bit of a different tack but how about ordering yourself a subscription box to something you enjoy? I had a year's worth of flower deliveries once a month and it was always a little moment of joy to know they were coming and then to find out what was in that month's bunch. There are subscriptions to all sorts of lovely things.

I was thinking this today! I would love to have a nice little pile of gifts waiting for me under the tree.

Could you set up a secret Santa with family or friends - so you each get one thing?

Happy Christmas!

I bet there are others who feel like you and would appreciate some kind of secret Santa arrangements (perhaps also for birthdays), I wonder whether there's a way to organise it...

He's not fussed? But you are, so the end result is he's not fussed about your feelings, as it's really not hard to make some sort of effort.