When is it too long to be with someone to then get engaged to them? And also when is it too late to have kids?

[Benny91]

We’re both 32. However I’m going to finally propose to her next year after 7 years of being together and I’ve felt bad for myself for leaving it far too late to do this! 😔 We are also getting worried that we are leaving it far too late to have kids too! And I’m wondering when is it too late to have kids?

Also, we’re buying a house next year, so that is a definite positive obviously!

32 is still young by modern standards for marriage and children

I met my DH when we were 18. We got engaged at 30 and married at 34 (covid got in the way between engagement and marriage!)

We knew we were going to get married so it was never a rush.

We don’t want kids so that’s not an aspect for us, but you’re not too old. It’s good to have the stable base first, which is what you’re doing.

We lived together for 10 years before ttc age 34 after buying a family home (we were in a flat previously). It thankfully happened quickly, but in hindsight wish we’d ttc sooner as we only had one child (second tried at 37 but just never happened).

We married, eloped, when we got the positive pg test. After 10 years of living together, new house and baby on way didn’t want the fuss or expense of a wedding. We never got engaged just agreed, booked and did it within 5 weeks. Being married just seemed right thing to do, it wasn’t something either of us were bothered about before.

Everyone is different, you consider your own priorities, but always bear in mind women’s fertility drops rapidly after 30 when making decisions.

Do you feel bad because she wants to marry and you have been avoiding a proper conversation about where you are at, or do you feel bad for another reason?

32 is young you're doing fine. I didn't meet my DH until we were 34, married at 37, 2nd and final baby by 41. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding 💐

Met DH at 25, lived together for 18 years before having DS. Still not married despite living together for 22 years so far.

I barely know anyone who had DC before late 30’s.

You’ve definitely not left things too late!

Now would be a good time. Get a move on. And best of luck for your married life. Perhaps next Christmas you’ll be celebrating with a family?

I’d say propose New Year or Valentines. Get your house, plan to get married later 2026, early 2027 and hopefully babies will follow soon after if that’s what you both want.

I'm 36 and got engaged this year after 14 years together. Planning kids next year x

My husband proposed after 10 years because we got together young. We will try for kids aged 33ish. None of our friends have kids yet. We are currently 30.

Why wait until next year if you already feel 'bad' about waiting 7 years?!

Just crack on, why wait?
My BIL is currently playing for time having proposed to his partner of 8 years at the time of proposal, 10 years now, no intention of marrying her and waiting for her biological clock to tick down being non commital re children. No idea why she has stuck around. Yes you’re young enough but at this age, if children are on the cards then it is a “piss or get off the pot” situation I’m afraid.